John Walker's Electronic House

Episode 85 of Rum Doings begins, as is quite topical for John, with discussions of wedding preparation. Then we ask the big question: who is still alive?

John speaks to some working class people, and then there’s chat about Dexter’s rehousing. Then there’s Nick’s exciting tale of a visit to the doctor! Tales of torturing our siblings, and then back to the wedding again. For instance, should John invite the Queen?

Oh, and there’s a new joke assignment, right at the end.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e85.mp3]

Episode 84 of Rum Doings comes to you LIVE from when it was recorded, offering echoey discussions of all the most important topics of the day. Like whether we should ban printers. And honeymoons.

John has to break some bad news to Nick, and then pretty much ensures he won’t be having a great time on his honeymoon. Then we naturally move on to incest, and the advantages thereof. And how to continue the line of were-panthers. Then for some reason Nick brings up videogames again.

Why is Chicago great? Can you take a girl out of Wolverhampton? And are we immortalised by this rubbish? Learn about the importance of a safety pillow, and then Nick gives out his diet advice.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e84.mp3]

Welcome to an echoey episode 83 of Rum Doings, recorded in our new echoey central London studios. In which we talk about some stuff. Look, I’m in the middle of moving house. I’ve been painting and washing and cleaning and unpacking and there’s so much more to do! You can find out what we talk about by listening! And you definitely should, because the ending is brill. Oh, and there are lots of answers to the mountain joke from 9,802 episodes back.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e83.mp3]

In episode 82, recorded long, long ago, in the distant past, before what the world has come to know as “Those Riots”, Nick and John don’t ask why they don’t just fill all those potholes in? Instead there’s chat about the Creation Museum in Kentucky, to which neither John nor Nick has visited. And we strike upon the reason the dinosaurs died out!

Learn how to make mayonnaise, while Nick proves himself to be the new Michael Winslow, and soaks a mug of tea into John’s favourite chair. We prove that eggs are magic, and then plot selling Rock, Paper, Shotgun. Is the Bible magic? Is Rob Newman magic? And then some spectacular impressions of Melvin Bragg. We complain about more rubbish radio comedy, and then put our surviving listeners’ minds at rest.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e82.mp3]

In Rum Doings episode 81, we don’t discuss Amy Winehouse. But we do once more brave the Tesco Value White Rum. Then John tells a long boring story about getting screwed over by a letting agency. Fortunately we then move on to Nick’s criticising Rock, Paper, Shotgun. Who is the best writer there? It is John.

There’s a celebration of the Kindle, which inevitably brings us to the hideousness that is church bells, including some expert campanology. Then Nick has an Excellent Idea. Will Dexter attend John’s forthcoming wedding?

Then as everyone always likes best, we discuss a TV show at length. But it’s about magic! Penn & Teller’s Fool Us, for which it turns out Nick sat in the audience. Magic magic magic.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e81.mp3]

In Rum Doings Episode 80 we don’t discuss whether anyone has the courage to stand up for the endangered British light bulb? But we add an extra season to the year.

Then it’s imperative that you contribute to this Kickstarter project, even though they’ve exceeded their total. It’s Ironbuds.

We consider our racism, homophobia, transphobia and so on. Then John lays out his plan for the Photograph From Behind service, and then of course there are some discussions of matters of the behind.

But then the highlight of the episode – we read out all the magnificent suggestions we’ve had for our “What did the ghost say when he won the prize?” John tells a terrible story about some headmaster, and then we discuss the important subject of toilet paper, and the weeing habits of babies.

More homework is set. We need answers to the following joke:

What did the mountain say when he went to the beach?

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e80.mp3]

Welcome person to Rum Doings Episode 79, an episode in which we don’t discuss how long it will be until English is a foreign language in England. But instead we do discuss, at significant length, Carol Vorderman. With additional notes for our non-UK listeners.

Of course we also share knowledge of the lovely, late Richard Whitely, Susie Dent, and the Countdown they shared. This is the sort of matter that makes Rum Doings essential.

It should probably be noted that this episode was recorded ahead of time, and we have since received some excellent responses to our ghost joke. We will certainly be discussing them in the next episode.

Do we think less less of a celebrity who uses the service they advertise? Naturally we find out yet another thing that annoys Nick about Andrew Collins, which inevitably takes us to pondering why Nick wouldn’t accept John as a daddy. Then a very painful discussion over how much money John would require to have Dexter put down. Then we work out when we’d murder. And discuss whether morality is arbitrary. And evolutionary theory. And Hebrew.

We then read out Ryan’s email to us, which once again confusingly seems to not like John as much as Nick, even though he’s clearly best.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e79.mp3]

In Rum Doings 78 we don’t discuss who is to answer for the Olympic ticket fiasco furore. We then drink a suspicious-looking rhum, and instantly ban being foreign.

We then discuss… sugar! It’s going to be an award winning episode. Nick mentions this lecture. Sugar takes us to water, which takes us to how John is better than his sister. Then we move on to our greatest subject of all time, So Haunt Me. And learn of the sad death of Miriam Karlin.

We both have something of a revelation of the nature of our relationships, and then ask that ultimate question: have you ever seen a ghost? No, we don’t really ask that. But we do consider what we’d do if we ever thought we had. Then Nick explains to John that events he went through never took place.

Are we disappointed that we’ll never go into space? And plane crashes. Which brings us to Nick’s specialist subject of plane safety. You get to find out why planes sound like barking dogs.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e78.mp3]

In episode 77 of Rum Doings things return to normal. Just John, Nick, a bottle of rum and a microphone. Aaaaand relax. So we don’t discuss: is yet another washed out, rainy British summer the final nail in the coffin of the global warming conspiracy.

There’s some familiar complaining about how rubbish our listeners are, which somehow takes us into a dangerous new territory of telling jokes. This has portent. Fortunately we’re diverted by Nick’s exciting throat news, and then Nick ATTACKS John over how hard John works on this podcast, because Nick is a BUMFACE.

We voice some thoughts on mobile phone hacking, and then get onto grammar, which takes us to Nick’s education, and the books we were taught at school. Encounters of racism in childhood lead us back to horrendous jokes, and the floodgates are open. A diversion into the remake of Dambusters, and the nature of the n-word, then offending the religious.

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Oh, and at least leave a comment, you heartless bastards.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e77.mp3]

In a very special edition of Rum Doings, Nick and John sit down with Boing Boing co-editor Cory Doctorow, and MakieLab founder and former head of Channel 4 Games, Alice Taylor. Just like John and Nick, they too are a married couple, one half obsessed with copyright issues, the other with games. It only made sense.

For some reason we chose to make Nick sit in an echo chamber – sometimes he needs to be kept aside for our safety. We begin discussing Disney, considering dark rides as an art form, the nature of their theme parks’ sponsorship, and the consequences of their idealism. Which is the most evil games publisher of the day, did Blackbird destroy the internet, and are Adobe in trouble?

What happens when printers print something better than themselves? And then as inevitably as day turns into zombie apocalypse, we turn to intellectual property law. What copyright issues will 3D printing lead to? What code is running on our computers against our will? And will our predictions of the future always be “insufficiently weird”.

Amazingly we get onto the economy of Star Trek, via the consequences of teleporters. There is much discussion of the consequences of new technology on, well, everything. And then comes piracy, geocoding, and the surprise appearance of LittleBigPlanet developer, Luke Petre. Finally, we move on to talking about MakieLab’s project to develop 3D toys linked to online gaming.

Big thanks to Cory and Alice (and Luke!) for joining us!

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e76.mp3]