John Walker's Electronic House

Rum Doings Episode 94 begins with quite the clanger. John’s freshly appointed wife reveals she is carrying Nick’s lovechild. (Also, we can’t count and thought this would go out after the New Year.) Which is only appropriate, since this pre-recorded episode (as opposed to those we perform live in your ears) contains our offering advice to our listeners. Our rubbish, rubbish listeners.

John has recently discovered the splendid podcast, My Brother My Brother And Me, and as is always the way of the great artistic minds, wanted to copy it. Incorrectly stating that they no longer take questions from listeners, thus attempting to fill a gap that’s already filled just fine, we begin by suggesting meeting women at refuge shelters. We are keeping it classy.

How to deal with loose skin, survive a mortgage, fake your own death (and indeed get away with your own murder), things to do in the bath, how to marry cats and dogs, and then we move on to just being horrible racists as usual. We consider how much better life is if you don’t live as if you’re constantly about to be burgled or stolen from, and much discussion of wee. We then get a weeny bit more serious and address a final question on social anxiety disorder, with some genuinely sensible advice.

And don’t take our insults too personally – we love you all, even though you’re all so rubbish.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you. Oh, and commission us for a radio show.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e94.mp3]

After losing our first start to episode 93, we attempt to begin all over again by trying to get the cardboard box burier out of jail. John explains how difficult it is to not buy a diamond ring, Australian rum that Nick pretends is nice, and there’s the best bottle ugg-gugg-gugging OF ALL TIME.

Nick prepares himself for Chrimbles, and then we get onto the ancient news of the idiotic reaction to Jeremy Clarkson’s comments on The One Show. And then we’re suddenly invaded by the potty-mouth of Nick’s wife, which seems to break Nick’s brain. She is the Irene Adler to Nick’s Holmes.

We explain why Rum Doings can never end, how John gives up on EVERYTHING, including television because of his annoying wife. And we spend some time pulling apart David Cameron’s ridiculous speech, on why the King James Bible is a terrible thing, and why Christianity does not take well to being institutionalised.

Learn why Judith is not clever for doing a wee-wee in her potty, the special toilet swap day, and then things get perhaps a little unpleasant as we discuss labia, and then John says a very dirty word.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you. Oh, and commission us for a radio show.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e93.mp3]

Episode 92 of Rum Doings is the last one before the new year, because Nick’s about to have his neck slit open by trained professionals. Please wish him well via the magic of Twitter.

We don’t discuss what to do now Europe is over, but we do delve deeply into the wonderful world of aural hypnosis, and parental relaxation. We learn how PCs don’t want to be built. And Nick explains how the time for videogames is over.

We decide the weather, miss Diana, and discover quite what a meanie the Queen is. We dismiss the financial crisis. And we learn the sad truth behind Bing. Then Nick decides to do his very best to slander the dead.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you. Oh, and commission us for a radio show.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e92.mp3]

In Episode 91 of Rum Doings we don’t discuss when we’re finally going to let go of our dependence on books. But instead we drink beer+coffee, and Baroness Von Greenfield, the best scientist in all the land. We celebrate how she streamlines science, and then discuss the metaphorical nature of gaming.

John reveals a terrible disability, and then we discuss the problems inherent in Michael Buerk. Which takes us on to how much we hate the gays. Then to the issues of the atavistic reader, the beginnings of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, and the terrible state of Future Publishing. We then talk about the delightful late Steve Jobs, Stephen Fry, and a quick burst of phone hacking.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you. Oh, and commission us for a radio show.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e91.mp3]

John would love to tell you more about what happens in Episode 90 of Rum Doings, but he has to leave. No, really – he’s got a meeting in Guildford, and if he doesn’t get ready to go now he’ll be late. Nick is furious with John for not being better prepared and writing a fuller description of this week’s episode, but really Nick should just be thankful John got it uploaded at all, and with Nick’s expectations of John set so low, you’d think he’d be pleasantly surprised more often.

John can tell you that we talk about the Occupy protests and the police response, as well as other topics in quick succession in a manner to which listeners will likely be accustomed. And it’s all tremendously good. And it’s definitely not episode 91, no matter what those two idiots say.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e90.mp3]

In episode 89 of Rum Doings, we don’t discuss the whether there’s going to be a saviour for our scourge of bad language. But we do discuss Sesame Street, Jimmy Saville, Australian finances and what we like the least about getting married. It’s all part of our attempt to talk about positive things.

John practises some misogyny, then Nick demands we talk about the thick seam of homophobia that runs through the gaming community. Which takes us onto an attempt to understand why homophobia seems to be the go-to hatred for so many groups. We establish why having things in common isn’t the ideal recipe for a relationship, monotheism, and the joy of two duvets. Then tales of hunts for passports.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e89.mp3]

Episode 88 of Rum Doings sees us wake up after a week’s sleep on Nick’s studio sofa. Emerging from this slumber we talk about how awful Terra Nova is, then remember that our topic isn’t: Is the National Lottery just a tax on the poor?

John then insults the religion of peace, and finally gets around to explaining why he’s excited about nothing. New beds, Nick’s daughter’s ghastly guttural dialect, and the joys of intra-race racism, all cross our lips. And what does “pique” mean? Nick’s determined to learn more about Minecraft, and then we remember the magic that was Rubik’s Magic.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e88.mp3]

In Episode 87 of Rum Doings, Nick and John finally reconvene after a month’s gap brought on by weddings, honeymoons and appendectomies. So it should come as little surprise that in an episode in which we don’t discuss wasps: nature’s dustmen or hateful scourge, we talk about weddings, honeymoons and appendectomies.

New sofas, pudding wines, and goodness us, what’s this? The very first ever live Rum Doings consumption of a cream tea!

There’s theological debate about contemporary Christian music and bishops, tales of our appendices, and screaming nurses. And then a heartfelt series of thank yous for the remarkable generosity shown by Rum Doings listeners for John’s wedding. (Quick update: Debenhams have found lots of the missing items, and the throw appeared despite apparently not being paid for.)

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e87.mp3]

In episode 86 we drink rum that has been kissed by a butterfly, and practise our live cabaret show. There’s discussion of John’s cupboards, and the youth of today.

Then there’s the somewhat awkward bringing up of John’s wedding list. Which we then plug. Because we have no shame. Not even enough shame to not link it from here, nor to omit saying that the number is 312865. If someone wanted to donate toward the TV. Maybe. Ahem.

How to be friends with people of different intelligences? And how brilliant John is in the eyes of a five year old. And whether Nick should have another child. And then the scandalous revelations about how Nick would mistreat his younger brothers. How long will John live?

And that’s it until after John’s honeymoon. Unless he does record one out there. Which he probably won’t.

Please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. And keep on tweeting and so forth.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e86.mp3]

Episode 85 of Rum Doings begins, as is quite topical for John, with discussions of wedding preparation. Then we ask the big question: who is still alive?

John speaks to some working class people, and then there’s chat about Dexter’s rehousing. Then there’s Nick’s exciting tale of a visit to the doctor! Tales of torturing our siblings, and then back to the wedding again. For instance, should John invite the Queen?

Oh, and there’s a new joke assignment, right at the end.

Please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. And keep on tweeting and so forth.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e85.mp3]