John Walker's Electronic House

Rum Doings Episode 93: Wooooooo! Palm Fronds

by on Dec.22, 2011, under Rum Doings, The Rest

After losing our first start to episode 93, we attempt to begin all over again by trying to get the cardboard box burier out of jail. John explains how difficult it is to not buy a diamond ring, Australian rum that Nick pretends is nice, and there’s the best bottle ugg-gugg-gugging OF ALL TIME.

Nick prepares himself for Chrimbles, and then we get onto the ancient news of the idiotic reaction to Jeremy Clarkson’s comments on The One Show. And then we’re suddenly invaded by the potty-mouth of Nick’s wife, which seems to break Nick’s brain. She is the Irene Adler to Nick’s Holmes.

We explain why Rum Doings can never end, how John gives up on EVERYTHING, including television because of his annoying wife. And we spend some time pulling apart David Cameron’s ridiculous speech, on why the King James Bible is a terrible thing, and why Christianity does not take well to being institutionalised.

Learn why Judith is not clever for doing a wee-wee in her potty, the special toilet swap day, and then things get perhaps a little unpleasant as we discuss labia, and then John says a very dirty word.

As ever, please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. Thank you to everyone who has – we’ve some lovely reviews. The more that appear, the more likely iTunes is to take us more seriously. And keep on tweeting and so forth. Please – it’s the only thing we ask of you. Oh, and commission us for a radio show.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!


17 Comments for this entry

  • Evert

    When my (now) wife and I went to buy rings we faced the same problem. Jewellers seem to have a very odd attitude to diamonds, on one hand saying that they are rare (and thus expensive) and one the other hand putting them on *everything* (seemingly). Anyway, we agreed on a sapphire one. So far so good.

    Getting wedding rings was a much more annoying task. We explicitly said we just wanted plain wedding bands. Yet the jeweller kept bringing rings with diamonds on. I think it took him about three attempts to bring rings with absolutely no diamonds on.

  • Evert

    (sorry if that was a bit rambling, I need to make a stollen and this is my last proper day to organise shit for Christmas. So. Very busy. Fortunately I have Rum Doings to listen to whilst doing this :)

    Merry Christmas)

  • trellism

    May I take this opportunity to recommend that your readers learn or update their CPR skills. Remember Michael Jackson would probably still be alive had proper CPR been administered swiftly. Um.

  • Xercies

    It wouldn’t be a nice Christmas without a nice dollop of Rum Doings to listen to while relaxing in the evening :D

  • Evert

    The King James Bible is an interesting beast. It seems more loved by atheists (or rather, people who are generally non-theist) than by practising Christians (in my experience). I recall reading that even Richard Dawkins is a fan of it.

    I wasn’t brought up with it so I don’t really get the “beautiful poetry” of it. I suppose it is because it is the most English Bible (country rather than language).

    The chief executive of where I work was adamant he wanted religious themed Christmas cards. Each with a religious picture its own Bible verse; Luke 2:7, and Matthew 2:10. (not sure about the second one)

    So the cards were put together with generic religious picture numbers 23 and 56. One saying:

    “She wrapped him in strips of cloth and laid him in a feeding trough, because there was no place for them in the guest quarters
    – Luke 2:7”

    the other:

    “When they saw the star, they were overjoyed
    -Matthew 2:10”
    (definately not sure about the second one)

    Now you may notice that they come from two different translations (International Standard Version and NIV respectively).

    When asked for my opinion (in my role as token believer), and not wanting to get into a pissing contest on which translation is best, I simply suggested that they pick one translation for both otherwise it was a bit sloppy looking.

    My manager (atheist but not a deep thinker) however assured everyone that the KJV was “the best” translation and was the only one that should be used.

    Not sure what happened after. But the version I saw a week later simply had generic picture with “Luke 2:7” (ie with no verse) written at the bottom. They did look a little silly. I never saw a finalised version. Apparently the chief executive was only sure on what verses he wanted and not on the translation.

    This is also why I try to not get into discussions about Bible translations. There is a lot of emotion involved seemingly. Also, I am quite frankly under equipped intellectually for such a discussion.

  • Jambe

    Purring cat guest = an automatically-good podcast.

  • Alex B

    Just in time for Christmas! I shall listen to this on the way up to Yeadon.

  • mister k

    And a merry christmas to you both. But probably not a cuddle, as I’m not sure we know each other that well. I was vaguely enthusiastic about a live rum doings, although I would have to persuade someone to come with me. I suppose I could drag my wife along, who has yet to listen to a rum doings. I was fortunate enough to have inherited a diamond engagement ring from the 1930s, which suitably detaches it from any moral inequaities in my mind.

    I do think that Jeremy Clarkson is a force for bad, on balance- his nasty little opinions that he and his chums spout on Top Gear are taken by some as reasonably, and go on to poison public discourse just that little bit more.

    I have no strong opinions on versions of the bible, having never seriously read it. I remember attempting to do so once, and I do have reasonable familiarity with bits and pieces of it. If I were to read it, then I’d feel duty bound to start reading the Koran and so on and so forth, and I’m not sure I could handle so much religion.

  • Colthor

    This was a particularly funny podcast, especially when Nick was hilariously awful about John, and then John was hilariously awful about his wife.

    Also hilariously awful: I don’t think you’re supposed to like Clarkson as he is on Top Gear. He’s deliberately the obnoxious, arrogant bully. I suspect if he were really anything like that the programme would have exploded in a fit of “artistic differences” long ago.

    But I won’t hear a bad word said about James May. My ears are literally incapable of it. The sound just doesn’t register at all.

  • Arthur

    John, what translation does your church use? I didn’t hear it mentioned in the podcast

  • sinister agent

    This was a fun episode.

    The whole “religion doesn’t survive institutionalisation” (or whatever) is an interesting point. That conversation came up at a party I had the other day – I put the same thing John said (paraphrased, obv.) to a bunch of recovering Catholics, and Jehovah’s Witness, and the agnostic daughter of a militant born again Christian (although are there other kinds of born again Christians? Semi-serious question). Interestingly, everyone sort of agreed. Then we drank until we couldn’t breathe.

  • devlocke

    Random question: Does anyone who obsessively re-listens to Rum Doings know which episode was the Stroh episode? I’ve gotten it into my head that I want to drink Stroh while listening to that episode, for some reason. Finally tracked down a bottle today, and I’m off on Wednesday, so tomorrow night seems like an opportune time to make the ridiculously-alcoholic-magic happen. But I really don’t want to listen to every episode, up to the beverage revelation, until I get to the Stroh episode.

    Tried searching the site, but ‘Stroh’ just gets me an episode in the 50s that has the dynamic duo revisiting it, and I want to hear their initial reaction, as I initially react.

    I think I’m meta-fetishizing.

  • John Walker

    Arthur – it leaps around all over the place. Often the NIV, sometimes the daft (but possibly helpful) Message, the ASRV, and to my endless chagrin, not the NRSV, which is my preferred translation.

  • Vagabond

    Eww, Bundy. Queensland has a lot to answer for.
    Nobody in the rest of the country drinks it, so Nick shouldn’t feel he needs to be polite lest he offend Australians in general.

  • Nick Mailer

    I enjoy The Message, in as much as it actually attempts the sort of idiom that the original often attempts. The Message’s “Ecclesiastes”, for example, beats any other translation I have written, and can confirm that it is much more tonally adapted to the Hebrew than any other.

    As you might imagine, KJV’s translation of Ecclesiastes is utterly rubbish from the start. Even its famous “vanity of vanities” is wrong: vanity is utterly the wrong word there.

  • snacks

    devlocke, I’m a newish listener/audient and have recently listened to the earliest episodes. Stroh first appears in episode 5. I think it would be fun if you could record yourself listening to the episode and reacting to the Stroh and send that recording to be played on the next podcast!

  • devlocke

    Haha… I ended up just listening to the beginning of each ep starting at 2 until I found it. Thankfully, it was early on. Didn’t think to record it.

    I regularly drink alcohol neat, so I’m coming at it from a different place than Nick and John were, but I felt like they SLIGHTLY exaggerated. I could breathe fine, and all. That said, ‘industrial cleaner’ is totally an accurate descriptor.

    I would say ‘butterscotch LifeSavers and death’ is the closest approximation to describing the flavor, but it definitely could be a butterscotch-flavored industrial-strength toilet-cleaner.

    I drank half of the shot I’d poured neat, and then decided that the burning was a bit painful and I didn’t want to do permanent damage to my guts, finished the rest in a tumbler with cranberry-ginger-ale. Then I had another Stroh-and-cran-ginger. And I’m not sure I’ll drink it again any time soon. I was buzzing hard at that point, after only 20 minutes.

    All in all, a satisfying experience. I think if I’d had it over ice, it would have been more palatable straight, as the ice would melt into it and dilute it a teensy bit. If Nick and John actually drank it straight w/o ice or mixer throughout the episode, then I’ll go ahead and do that, since they apparently haven’t developed any holes in their stomach lining since then. :)