John Walker's Electronic House

In the 144th episode of Rum Doings, we don’t discuss whether the vinyl has had its day. But instead we get into some first year poetry analysis, and learn how Lucy the kitten has banished sleep for John.

Naturally we have a quick chat about Turkey, discuss Mohammad’s cat, and then Nick obsesses over the language in some, er, spam. We stake our claim to having discovered Benedict Cumberbatch, and then Nick outlines the new rules for seasons. And probably some other stuff too.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/144_rumdoings.mp3]

In the 143rd episode of Rum Doings, we don’t discuss population control. And we’re no longer on a cruise. So life is empty. But John has recently gained a kitten, and that’s quite the matter. We express just how much we don’t know the right answer for Syria, nor indeed about fracking. We explain how you can buy anything you want when you’re buying a house, and also the complete lack of past kissing antics by our wives. Nick appoints Laura in charge of RPS, and John discusses the company’s exploitation of tiny kittens. Nick then makes John talk about the next console generation, we consider the lack of sticky-up winkies on TV, and then it ends.

Please do leave a comment below. I know it’s a pain, since you’ll likely not listen while staring at this page, but it makes us feel wanted.

You are of course required to leave a review on iTunes.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/143_rumdoings.mp3]

In the 142nd episode of Rum Doings, we are on the last night of the cruise. Sniff. But fortunately there’s time for a sing-song!

We work out how to bring cruise into our everyday lives, we learn how not to not be disablist, and plan how to bump off our parents for their house values. And other stuff too! It’s a good one.

Please do leave a comment below. I know it’s a pain, since you’ll likely not listen while staring at this page, but it makes us feel wanted.

You are of course required to leave a review on iTunes.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/142_rumdoings.mp3]

Every year I realise I’ve not written this down so I can point to it, and then forget after. So today, since I’m already too busy, I’ll do it. My A Level results. This is the story of how the results do not need to define the rest of your life.

My A Level results were:

N,N,E

There tend to be two categories of people. Those who got an N, and those who didn’t know you could get an N. While I believe it no longer exists, it once fell between E and U, seemingly serving to reward those who took a stab at spelling their name correctly on the front page, or at least drew some nice doodles for the examiner to enjoy. At the time I assumed it simply stood for “No.” “Not you, matey.”

I took biology, chemistry and maths, which of course makes perfect sense for a writer… I was convinced I wanted to be a scientist, and despite my dad’s confusion as to why I wasn’t pursuing subjects in which I more obviously showed talent, I defiantly went on to attempt to get a place studying microbiology at Edinburgh university. That was the goal. Why microbiology? It’s horrible to realise now I can’t even remember having a particular passion for it – I guess I liked learning about it at school, and I had already realised I wasn’t good enough at sciences to be a vet.

I wasn’t exactly expecting good grades. When you spend the two hours of a chemistry exam plotting a graph on your graphics calculator that makes it draw a train with smoke coming out of the tunnel, you can be pretty well assured that you didn’t ace it. Convincing my parents of this was tougher, trying to explain that, “You always think you did worse than you did!” doesn’t tend to apply when you hadn’t written anything in the little boxes.

It was a combination of things. The wrong subjects, not really doing any work for two years, and being absolutely atrocious at exams. I had managed to get through GCSEs on blagging along, and then discovered that didn’t work for the next stage up. But I also wasn’t stupid – I picked up an awful lot of it, and can still recite the anatomy of kidney or make my way around a Krebs Cycle, seventeen years later. I just had no ability in exam conditions, rather worsened by having done far too little revision after far too little effort for two years. So yes, not the best approach.

Results day sucked. Obviously. I was helping out at a holiday club that week, so couldn’t get down to collect my results first thing with my chums. But when I went down later in the morning, some friends turned up to meet me there. I wished they hadn’t. My friends at school were smart (they’re still smart, as it happens). At a time before AS/A2, when you took three A levels as standard, friends of mine took five or six, and got As in all of them (this was before A*s, too). Most my friends got straight As. A couple dipped into Bs. I got grades that none of us even knew were available. It didn’t feel good sharing that moment.

For reasons I still cannot explain, beyond sheer miserable panic, I decided to retake the same subjects. There was no time for thinking about it – to get a place at the local six form college, I’d have to apply on results day itself, and I just went for the same ones. I still had those ambitions of studying biology at such a good university. And so it was that I had the most miserable year of my life, as all my friends went off to university or gap years, and I stayed in the same town, studying the same subjects, in a grotty hole of a college with few friends. My routine became a depressed trudge. I distinctly remember that the highlights of my weeks were: Chris Evans’ (genuinely great) Radio 1 breakfast show, especially the handovers to Simon Mayo; Monday, Wednesday and Friday night on BBC 2 when they’d show Seinfeld followed by Larry Sanders; and Sunday and Wednesday nights when the just-launched Channel 5 would show baseball from midnight. I used those as the stepping stones between the rubbishness of the days, studying subjects I knew I was no good at, in a place I didn’t want to be, while hearing of my friends’ amazing times. Woo! This time I got:

E,E,D.

Improvement! Sigh.

But here’s the thing: turns out, life has been brilliant. I screwed up my A Levels twice, and tried to do a completely ridiculous degree in a made up subject at a tin-pot university, which was a colossal waste of time. But after that, and after a brief, peculiar stint working at a national radio station under the control of the utterly repugnant Kelvin MacKenzie, I found my passions. I’ve been very fortunate, but I’ve also worked incredibly hard. I discovered youth work, and I re-discovered that I can write. I went on to do a degree in youth work and applied theology, and came out of it with a first class degree, while at the same time writing my arms off for PC Gamer, Eurogamer and others. Six years ago I co-started RPS, and now is now, and I’ve a wonderful job, amazing wife, and my NNE means absolutely nothing whatsoever.

I recognise that I’m extremely fortunate. I understand that not everyone gets away with such a screw-up. But I feel it’s important to say on results day that the grades you get do not define you, and do not need to define the rest of your life. You are bigger than them.

It sucks to do badly. I had a really crappy year because of failing. It’s not something you breeze past. But it’s something you certainly do get past. Life is enormous, and if you work your butt off, and acknowledge your passions, opportunities can come up.

And if you did well: fistbump!

In the 141th episode of Rum Doings, for the penultimate time sat on the balcony of John and Laura’s cruising cabin, we’re attacked by pirates! Aiieeee!

Listen to more tales of Nick and John’s jacuzzi love, and kayaking adventures, before we’re interrupted by the appearance of a GHOST LIGHTHOUSE!

There are tales of awful, awful Bergen, and our newfound career as photography models. And the new sport that’s sweeping the planet – Canapé Tossing!

Please do leave a comment below. I know it’s a pain, since you’ll likely not listen while staring at this page, but it makes us feel wanted.

You are of course required to leave a review on iTunes.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/141_rumdoings.mp3]

In the 140th episode of Rum Doings, yet again sat on the balcony of John and Laura’s cruising cabin, we’re in the port of Akureyri, Iceland. So we obviously talk about Akureyri, Iceland. And the Ultimate Cream Tea.

There’s live commentary of our ship moving out of a port, including all the rope-removal coverage you so desperately seek. And the Coca Cola Challenge! And impressions of a big fat man!

Please do leave a comment below. I know it’s a pain, since you’ll likely not listen while staring at this page, but it makes us feel wanted.

You are of course required to leave a review on iTunes.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/140_rumdoings.mp3]

In the 139th episode of Rum Doings, once again sat on the balcony of John and Laura’s cabin, we discuss drowning in Jacuzzis, and Nick’s ripped torso. And then we bring you news of the Faroe Islands. In fact, we happen to have an extremely useful tourism booklet about the place. Let us share it with you. You’ll need this picture too:

Things then turn to a different form of salvation, as we look forward to our Champagne High Tea. Then everything’s ruined when Laura turns up.

Oh, and please do leave a comment below. I know it’s a pain, since you’ll likely not listen while staring at this page, but it makes us feel wanted.

You are of course required to leave a review on iTunes.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/139_rumdoings.mp3]

With commissioning editors worrying about future prospects for the Rum Doings franchise, and a necessity to maintain ratings, it was decided by producers that the mighty series should take to the high seas! So it is that the sitcom of our lives went on a cruise, in a wacky, hilarious collection of… no, that’s as much as I can muster. We went on a holiday together, and recorded a bunch of episodes throughout. This is the first of five slightly shorter editions.

In the 138th episode of Rum Doings, sat on the balcony of John and Laura’s cabin, Nick and John speak into the microphone of an Apple Macintosh laptop with the washing sound of the ocean in the background. So naturally our location dominates discussion for a good while. And promptly turn into pirates.

We ponder the potential of a post-apocalyptic world, complain about a crappy game of poker, and even in the middle of the sea Nick insists on bringing up videogames. Things then turn to John’s hatred of all humanity, and the mysteries of the horizon.

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Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/138_rumdoings.mp3]

Heaven high. It’s episode 137 of Rum Doings, in which we don’t discuss man moon cold blah blah. We do discuss privacy, and our easily misinterpreted innocent statements. For some reason we talk about aeroplane classes, and their relation to capitalism. John does his extraordinary impression of Frank Muller, and then we consider the genius of Sir Jonathan Ive.

Can you say you’ve read something if you’ve listened to it? And will the blind destroy us all? And is youthwork worthwhile?

We’d really love it if you left a review on iTunes. Yes, iTunes is hideous, but reviews on there are what get podcasts more attention. After 137 free episodes, we’d love you to return the favour by writing a quick review.

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Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/137b_rumdoings.mp3]

Heaven high. It’s episode 136 of Rum Doings, in which we don’t discuss why there are so many repeats. We begin by answering a few Facebook (eurgh) questions, and then settle into some lovely discussion of sun cream,
Nick’s desperation for John to get drunk, Judith’s ludicrously complicated songs, and a female Doctor Who.

There’s a painstaking review of the Chocolate Boutique Hotel, and the arrival of the monstrous noise of next door’s loft conversion. Then we encourage bigots to shoot themselves in the head.

We’d really love it if you left a review on iTunes. Yes, iTunes is hideous, but reviews on there are what get podcasts more attention. After 130 free episodes, we’d love you to return the favour by writing a quick review.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here:

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/136_rumdoings.mp3]