John Walker's Electronic House

The behaviour of so many who have rioted has been shocking and appalling, and the stories coming out about some of the abysmal crimes committed have been horrendous. But something else that has upset me hugely throughout our week of English riots has been the use of the word “scum”.

Of course it upsets and offends me to see the looting, arson and brutality, and I’m weary with the tedium of those who cannot distinguish between asking questions and whatever it is people think counts as “justifying”. But one of the most concerning things to have come out of these events – to my eyes – has been the language used to describe the perpetrators.

“Scum” is such a vile word. It’s a word with a clear purpose: to dehumanise.

I, like everyone else alive, do not know the motivations and backgrounds of each and every one of the thousands who rioted. It seems likely to me that some did it because they are criminals, others because they are disenfranchised and had no structure that told them not to. Some because the saw opportunity that had never presented itself before, others because they were angry, others still because they’re cruel, selfish people who do not care about the consequences of their actions. There will be some whose backgrounds are so appalling that the veneer of society has never meant anything to them at any point. Others who fancied a widescreen TV and thought it was a chance to get away with it. And every single person who took part, for whatever reason, with whatever motivation, with whatever amount of deliberate malice or idiotic inertia, is a person with a story, a life, a set of experiences that took them to the day they rioted. And the moment they’re called “scum” is the moment they are discarded and dehumanised.

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In Rum Doings episode 81, we don’t discuss Amy Winehouse. But we do once more brave the Tesco Value White Rum. Then John tells a long boring story about getting screwed over by a letting agency. Fortunately we then move on to Nick’s criticising Rock, Paper, Shotgun. Who is the best writer there? It is John.

There’s a celebration of the Kindle, which inevitably brings us to the hideousness that is church bells, including some expert campanology. Then Nick has an Excellent Idea. Will Dexter attend John’s forthcoming wedding?

Then as everyone always likes best, we discuss a TV show at length. But it’s about magic! Penn & Teller’s Fool Us, for which it turns out Nick sat in the audience. Magic magic magic.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e81.mp3]

In Rum Doings Episode 80 we don’t discuss whether anyone has the courage to stand up for the endangered British light bulb? But we add an extra season to the year.

Then it’s imperative that you contribute to this Kickstarter project, even though they’ve exceeded their total. It’s Ironbuds.

We consider our racism, homophobia, transphobia and so on. Then John lays out his plan for the Photograph From Behind service, and then of course there are some discussions of matters of the behind.

But then the highlight of the episode – we read out all the magnificent suggestions we’ve had for our “What did the ghost say when he won the prize?” John tells a terrible story about some headmaster, and then we discuss the important subject of toilet paper, and the weeing habits of babies.

More homework is set. We need answers to the following joke:

What did the mountain say when he went to the beach?

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e80.mp3]

This is uncanny:

Welcome person to Rum Doings Episode 79, an episode in which we don’t discuss how long it will be until English is a foreign language in England. But instead we do discuss, at significant length, Carol Vorderman. With additional notes for our non-UK listeners.

Of course we also share knowledge of the lovely, late Richard Whitely, Susie Dent, and the Countdown they shared. This is the sort of matter that makes Rum Doings essential.

It should probably be noted that this episode was recorded ahead of time, and we have since received some excellent responses to our ghost joke. We will certainly be discussing them in the next episode.

Do we think less less of a celebrity who uses the service they advertise? Naturally we find out yet another thing that annoys Nick about Andrew Collins, which inevitably takes us to pondering why Nick wouldn’t accept John as a daddy. Then a very painful discussion over how much money John would require to have Dexter put down. Then we work out when we’d murder. And discuss whether morality is arbitrary. And evolutionary theory. And Hebrew.

We then read out Ryan’s email to us, which once again confusingly seems to not like John as much as Nick, even though he’s clearly best.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e79.mp3]

In Rum Doings 78 we don’t discuss who is to answer for the Olympic ticket fiasco furore. We then drink a suspicious-looking rhum, and instantly ban being foreign.

We then discuss… sugar! It’s going to be an award winning episode. Nick mentions this lecture. Sugar takes us to water, which takes us to how John is better than his sister. Then we move on to our greatest subject of all time, So Haunt Me. And learn of the sad death of Miriam Karlin.

We both have something of a revelation of the nature of our relationships, and then ask that ultimate question: have you ever seen a ghost? No, we don’t really ask that. But we do consider what we’d do if we ever thought we had. Then Nick explains to John that events he went through never took place.

Are we disappointed that we’ll never go into space? And plane crashes. Which brings us to Nick’s specialist subject of plane safety. You get to find out why planes sound like barking dogs.

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Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e78.mp3]

Summer has traditionally always been the downtime for US TV, but after a disastrous year for the main season the summer schedule is turning everything around. While the major networks aren’t playing a huge part, cable is alight with great shows. Here are some of them.

Franklin & Bash – TNT

Yet another hour-long legal show isn’t too appealing, but seeing that it starred Mark-Paul Gosselaar was enough to have me want to check it out. Saved By The Bell’s Zack will be an obligatory mention until the day he dies, despite a multiple-year stint on NYPD Blue, but it was his impressively good turn in the much underrated Raising The Bar that’s made me interested to see what he does next. And this is perfect, teaming him up with Robot Chicken’s Breckin Meyer, in what turns out to be a buddy team with automatic chemistry. The pair bounce off each other so effortlessly that you wonder if they’re being given space to improvise their constantly funny dialogue.

The premise is pleasingly dumb. Two maverick lawyers working for a small, unsuccessful company, get hired by a giant firm under the leadership of a gloriously scene-chewing Malcolm McDowell. So yes, they bring their wayward ways to a firm that usually plays by the rules, etc, etc. But it’s really not about the cases, which over the first six episodes they’ve inevitably won – rather it’s about the spaces in between, the silliness, and most of all, the banter. So of course judges look sternly at them and warn that any more of their antics and they’ll find them in contempt, but for once it doesn’t matter. In fact, the writers have the good sense to often let the judges enjoy the spectacle.

Reed Diamond plays an excellent straight man as the pair’s main foil, along with an ensemble cast without any weak points. A few critics are making the stupid mistake of approaching the show as if it’s trying to be serious legal drama, confused when the cases are cartoonish or outright unrealistic. But that’s the point – this is a comedy, and an incredibly funny one. Few recent shows have had me skip back to watch a moment five or six times in a row, just to enjoy someone’s perfect (not quite literal) spit-take or superbly delivered off-the-cuff remark. The highlight of these so far came after Meyer delivered some faux-old man grumbling about loud rock and roll music, when Gosselaar mumbled in kind, almost to himself, simply, “YouTube.”

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In episode 77 of Rum Doings things return to normal. Just John, Nick, a bottle of rum and a microphone. Aaaaand relax. So we don’t discuss: is yet another washed out, rainy British summer the final nail in the coffin of the global warming conspiracy.

There’s some familiar complaining about how rubbish our listeners are, which somehow takes us into a dangerous new territory of telling jokes. This has portent. Fortunately we’re diverted by Nick’s exciting throat news, and then Nick ATTACKS John over how hard John works on this podcast, because Nick is a BUMFACE.

We voice some thoughts on mobile phone hacking, and then get onto grammar, which takes us to Nick’s education, and the books we were taught at school. Encounters of racism in childhood lead us back to horrendous jokes, and the floodgates are open. A diversion into the remake of Dambusters, and the nature of the n-word, then offending the religious.

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Oh, and at least leave a comment, you heartless bastards.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

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Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e77.mp3]

In a very special edition of Rum Doings, Nick and John sit down with Boing Boing co-editor Cory Doctorow, and MakieLab founder and former head of Channel 4 Games, Alice Taylor. Just like John and Nick, they too are a married couple, one half obsessed with copyright issues, the other with games. It only made sense.

For some reason we chose to make Nick sit in an echo chamber – sometimes he needs to be kept aside for our safety. We begin discussing Disney, considering dark rides as an art form, the nature of their theme parks’ sponsorship, and the consequences of their idealism. Which is the most evil games publisher of the day, did Blackbird destroy the internet, and are Adobe in trouble?

What happens when printers print something better than themselves? And then as inevitably as day turns into zombie apocalypse, we turn to intellectual property law. What copyright issues will 3D printing lead to? What code is running on our computers against our will? And will our predictions of the future always be “insufficiently weird”.

Amazingly we get onto the economy of Star Trek, via the consequences of teleporters. There is much discussion of the consequences of new technology on, well, everything. And then comes piracy, geocoding, and the surprise appearance of LittleBigPlanet developer, Luke Petre. Finally, we move on to talking about MakieLab’s project to develop 3D toys linked to online gaming.

Big thanks to Cory and Alice (and Luke!) for joining us!

Please consider writing a review on iTunes. It’s a really good way of raising our profile. And keep on tweeting and so forth.

Make sure to follow us on Twitter @rumdoings. If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, which apparently people still do, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e76.mp3]

I am alive. Which is something I wasn’t sure would be the case earlier today.

Something I’ve always wanted to do is fly in one of those research planes that go through thunderstorms with the deliberate intent of being struck. As I’ve mentioned so very often, I adore thunder, and the idea of being so close to it seems thrilling.

Well, as it turns out it’s just terrifying. Especially when you’re not in a research plane, but a small commercial vessel that’s circling above Brussels for an hour, insanely flying through the storm again and again and again. It’s hard to understand what was happening, especially since the pilot adopted that airline code of not explaining what was going on for enormous stretches of time, while we all stared at each other, not sure how much longer we had to live.

Things kicked as we approached Brussels to land, and the rollercoaster began. About twenty minutes earlier the flight attendant (the, as this was a very small plane) had warned us there was a chance of turbulence, but not said when. The plane lowered, we began our approach (wheels still up), and then dropped, my stomach left at our previous altitude. Now, I love it when that happens in planes, because I’m an idiot. It’s the ultimate ride, that sensation you get from a good coaster but without the tedium of seeing where it ends. I know that it’s just hitting an air pocket, and I know it’s fine, and I enjoy the adrenaline rush. I turned to the guy sat next to me and said, “That was a good one!”

But then it got a bit worse. And I saw the airport pass beneath us, as we continued on.

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