John Walker's Electronic House

As you know we mark our every 10th episode with something very special. Our Now Show edition, special celebrity guest John Finnemore, and then for episode 30… John’s girlfriend Laura! Calm down.

Yes, indeed, episode 30 of Rum Doings contains a girl.

Ew.

The topic of this episode to not discuss: What are we to do about the tragedy of the increasing dearth of Britain’s dwindling bees. Population.

Obviously we recognise that a girl being on the podcast will upset a lot of people, so if you wish to send her hate mail, please address it to this address.

We wonder at how a couple splits its mp3 collection, slander John’s childhood girlfriends, and and listen as John’s cat Dexter pathetically mews at the door. We concur that the Midlands are in the North, and then make sure we lose all our Midlander listeners.

There’s discussion of how bad episode 1 was, and how Laura is mad. Which science is best, and why Nick doesn’t believe in Thor. John’s job is pulled to pieces, with suggestions of features about Dexter in the Economist. Nick then sings the arcades. And what’s wrong with a job building sandcastles?

Then we become Top Gear, with our amazing analysis of cupholders in a Toyota Yaris. If you’re having trouble getting to sleep, listen to this part of the podcast. Or start knitting. And would Eurovision work in America?

Inform everyone you know. At all costs, promote us. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Cool people do it. You want to be in the cool gang.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some dreadful reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Episode 28 of Rum Doings is not discussing: Why can an Englishman not defend his home by shooting a burglar in the back.

This week John has a headache. So we talk about headaches. You know how we are.

What else do we bring up? Television programmes we enjoy watching with our eyes. More dangerous ways of distributing gas. We argue about Doctor Who and sitcoms. We realise Rum Doings needs a trombonist. In fact, most of an orchestra. Of buskers. We learn how Nick lets his daughter suffocate, how long John’s been a crybaby, and plans for genre twists. Can you Chinese-burn yourself? Can you touch your own winky? And what exactly is the fabric of our universe? And why don’t the Jews like it?

Inform everyone you know. At all costs, promote us. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Cool people do it. You want to be in the cool gang.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some dreadful reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Crikey-o-blimey! We’re back! After a volcano-encouraged break, Rum Doings returns with episode 26 to not discuss whether the Americanisation of Britain gone one step too far?

Instead John struggles with pomegranate wine, we ponder super-tasting, the merits of Marmite, and the Queen’s insatiable loins.

Inevitably we talk election, but having recorded this before Tuesday night, we weren’t aware who our new King was to be. There’s thoughts on the peculiar imbalance of political leanings in the press compared to the population, the difference between Scotland and England, and the source of John’s self-loathing. Then we even discuss money stuff things.

After the frivolity of this politics business, we then turn our attentions toward more serious matters: poo poo and wee wee. Inspired by a three year old, we consider the merits of poo, and what various people may look like as they perform one. Then we ascend to talk of asparagus wee, and the corrupted souls of those who cannot produce this potion, including nano-plans to fix this defection. Also, John tests the very limits of his girlfriend’s tolerance. Also, what colour to political leaders wee?

We finish with some absolutely shameful impressions of Gordon Brown.

Tell the world. We’re entirely motivated by how many people listen, because we’re attention-hungry show-offs. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. If you do that, it makes you our absolute favourite.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Remember folks, no Rum Doings this week due to ash-cloud interference.

We are attempting to appease the volcano with sacrifices of cream teas, and will hopefully work something out soon. It may be that there cannot be another episode until May, however. I recommend listening to them all over again (except episode one, which is rubbish).

This week we neither discuss whether all drugs should be legalised, nor whether all drugs should be illegalised. Instead we tuck in to some absolutely delicious honey rum, and begin reading out some listener emails.

We ponder vanilla ice cream, John’s 30th birthday and his anti-social ways, which is the best time of day on a fuzzy clock, and analyse whether QI is the primary source of all sexism.

Should dads post on Mumsnet? What do we think about airports? Are games journalists bribed? Did the games industry survive the piracy of the 80s? Can Nick break up Rock, Paper, Shotgun?

We ponder the comedy of French & Saunders, and then condemn those who pretend not to care when planes take off. And then wonder about astronauts’ private time.

Tell the world. We’re entirely motivated by how many people listen, because we’re attention-hungry show-offs. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. If you do that, it makes you our absolute favourite.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This week, in episode 24, we don’t discuss: What with internet, the Facebook, Wiki and YouTubes, has information overload gotten the better of us?

Instead we discuss only two things: stand up comedy and politics. But hopefully with enough varied approaches that it’s not quite as dull as that description sounds. How could it be? We’re the best!

So we ask why are the most popular mainstream comics so popular, and what we wish they would do instead. We explore the difference between British and US stand up, and then via Stewart Lee we think about the BBC’s Top Gear. This then moves onto a discussion about UKIP, and why they’re trouble. Then more thoughts on the various parties in the forthcoming UK elections. And rum.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We love you best of all the animals.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This week we welcome back Martin Coxall for a second appearance, after last week’s was so lovely with him. Don’t worry if you’re a purest – we’ve since had him sealed in concrete and buried in the North Sea, and next time it will be back to just Nick and John.

The topic not under discussion is: Is the creeping cancer of violent videogames corrupting our kiddies? Moving quickly on, we discover that John wants to be a tall poppy, and then move on to the drinks Martin bought for us. A tub of coconut milk, and a tin of Nourishmilk. Which will be so revolting we pour it down the sink? How can you resist finding out? Then discover what Nick and Martin really think of John when he’s out the room.

Find out how to circumnavigate a gastric band, and then discussions of the two types of hunger. Nick lectures two fat people on how to be thin, which inevitably means discussing the Cheesecake Factory and desserts. Then a really quite heated debate about strawberries, woolly jumper apples, the ripeness of bananas, and the sheer arrogance of rhubarb.

Which countries have the worst breakfasts? And what’s the best offal? Then continuing what’s become a food theme, there’s more discussion of custard and Angel Delight than you could possibly have hoped for. If you wish to defend chocolate custard, get in touch at the email address below. And after, thermal conductivity.

Which would be more dangerous to come back to life, the raptor or the t-rex? Learn how to bring them back to find out! And how Ridley Scott could kill us all. What noise did a dodo make? And where did chickens come from?

And then… I’m not even going to associate myself with it. I think it might be the funniest moment on Rum Doings ever. Be warned, it’s not okay for gentle ears. In fact, let’s never speak of it.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We love you.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This week in episode 22 we’re not discussing: Is Britain now too much in the thrall of the celebrity culture? Which is harder to say than you might imagine.

Joining us this week, as a special guest, is non-celebrity and friend of ours, Martin Coxall. Nick and I have known him for almost as long as we’ve known each other, so he’s a natural inclusion into this nonsense. Martin sits in the creaky chair, and provides the creaking John would more usually offer.

Things begin with criticising John’s road rage, then criticising John’s pronunciation of years, and a quick insult to the pope. Then we open the mysterious bag containing a mystery rum gift from Victoria, Nick’s wife. What will it be? Will it inevitably be horrible? But then, calamity! An entire pint of coffee is spilt on the carpet, and gets dangerously close to dominating the entire recording.

Which is better for you? Special K, or Frosties? We reveal the TRUTH. We rant against the sanctimonious nature of breakfast cereals, the fear of buying tampons, and then more criticising of John for knowing about periods. That of course brings three men to discuss periods to a depth you probably didn’t want.

What brought down the Romans? The shared bum-sponge we reveal. We complain about QI, ponder the life of the hobo, and confirm the importance of clotted cream. Then of course it’s time to criticise John some more, this time in a reprise of berating him for his consumption of margarine. Sorry about the volume at this point, and your ear drums. Martin exclusively reveals what doesn’t cause cancer. And here’s where you can find out what does and doesn’t cause cancer according to the Daily Mail.

We then have an email about Nick’s dislike of clouds, which somehow becomes an explanation of how wretched Facebook is. Next, thunderstorms. Then religions and the census, and how one might go about being unbaptised, before we dissolve into a rather boring discussion of Star Wars, pleasantly interrupted by a sophisticated criticism of the French language.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We’d appreciate it.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Recording in Nick’s brother’s “studio”, in episode 21 we immediately find ourselves discussing the splendid subject of slugs. Before we’ve even introduced the subject we aren’t discussing. Which is: Is bad language the sign of a poor vocabulary, and a poorer imagination?

Have you ever rifled through someone’s bathroom cabinet? Surely no one really would. But what about interviewing technique? Should you allow the interviewee to answer a question? And how about the works of Mr and Mrs Christ’s Enterprise? These are things we talk about! There’s chat about conspiracists, the absolute fact that the Taleban is the Queen’s personal army, and then we celebrate mighty man of history, King Cnut.

Gravelly-voiced singers, the perils of copyright, and Nick’s fascinating discussion of the colour of the sky, all bring us to the ultimate email we’ve received. I use “ultimate” quite deliberately. I feel quite sure it can’t be beaten. If you want to prove us wrong, contact us here. Find out quite how uncommitted you are compared to these two.

We leap like verbal gazelles from jerk chicken to President Clinton, Amnesty failings to Sonny and Cher’s involvement in the situation in the Middle East. And yes, of course, Ramsey’s Messianic Kitchen Nightmares. Learn John’s criminal history, and then… a big musical finish! What an episode.

Do let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We’d appreciate it.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

In a very special edition of Rum Doings, we are joined by comedy writer John Finnemore. We have discussed Mr Finnemore’s work on Rum Doings in the past, especially the fantastic Radio 4 sitcom Cabin Pressure. He’s worked on very many radio and television comedies, perhaps most notably as a lead writer for Mitchell & Webb on both Radio 4 and BBC 2, and despite this still agreed to join us for our twentieth episode.

There’s a topic not under discussion this week too: how are we going to inoculate ourselves against Britain’s road rage epidemic.

You’ll not be surprised to learn much of the topics this week are radio and TV comedy – subjects we’ve spoken about a great deal before. We begin with Cabin Pressure, and quickly move on to the sitcoms that inspired Finnemore, especially Yes Minister. Then find out which surprising 70s sitcom David Mitchell is a fan of, as well as enjoy a brief dissection of The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin. Nick attempts to get John W in trouble, telling tales about his disliking of Fawlty Towers, and then everything goes horribly wrong…

Finnemore defends Victoria Wood’s ‘dinnerladies’. Oh dear. It all falls apart. It almost comes to blows.

Fortunately we quickly move on to John Shuttleworth, good comedy we can all agree on. This takes us to Dad’s Army, which in turn brings us back to Cabin Pressure, especially the desert episode and the fantastic appearance of John Sessions. Nick then launches into a brilliant attempt to tell Finnemore that he’s wrong about the nature of one of his own characters – one he even voices himself. This leads to a lovely discussion of the nature of happiness, as viewed through the Goons.

After more discussion of Cabin Pressure, then talk of the relationship between The Mitchell & Webb Sound and Look, we arrive at the topic of comedians doing advertising. Then changing from commercials to the other side, there’s talk of why the BBC is such a great thing but so desperately lacking self-confidence.

Huge thanks to John Finnemore for joining us for our twentieth episode. We strongly recommend you get hold of Cabin Pressure. It’s a funny and warm radio sitcom of the like that’s very rare today. You can buy both series from Audible here and here, or from iTunes here and here. Oh, and we should probably add that you can hear Finnemore on this week’s episode of The Now Show, 6.30, Friday on Radio 4. Yes, we’re aware of the irony of this.

Do let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. We’d appreciate it.

If you want to email us, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.