John Walker's Electronic House

Remember folks, no Rum Doings this week due to ash-cloud interference.

We are attempting to appease the volcano with sacrifices of cream teas, and will hopefully work something out soon. It may be that there cannot be another episode until May, however. I recommend listening to them all over again (except episode one, which is rubbish).

This week we neither discuss whether all drugs should be legalised, nor whether all drugs should be illegalised. Instead we tuck in to some absolutely delicious honey rum, and begin reading out some listener emails.

We ponder vanilla ice cream, John’s 30th birthday and his anti-social ways, which is the best time of day on a fuzzy clock, and analyse whether QI is the primary source of all sexism.

Should dads post on Mumsnet? What do we think about airports? Are games journalists bribed? Did the games industry survive the piracy of the 80s? Can Nick break up Rock, Paper, Shotgun?

We ponder the comedy of French & Saunders, and then condemn those who pretend not to care when planes take off. And then wonder about astronauts’ private time.

Tell the world. We’re entirely motivated by how many people listen, because we’re attention-hungry show-offs. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. If you do that, it makes you our absolute favourite.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This week, in episode 24, we don’t discuss: What with internet, the Facebook, Wiki and YouTubes, has information overload gotten the better of us?

Instead we discuss only two things: stand up comedy and politics. But hopefully with enough varied approaches that it’s not quite as dull as that description sounds. How could it be? We’re the best!

So we ask why are the most popular mainstream comics so popular, and what we wish they would do instead. We explore the difference between British and US stand up, and then via Stewart Lee we think about the BBC’s Top Gear. This then moves onto a discussion about UKIP, and why they’re trouble. Then more thoughts on the various parties in the forthcoming UK elections. And rum.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We love you best of all the animals.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This weekend, over Easter, leader of the BNP Nick Griffin put out a statement explaining that the BNP is the only party fighting for traditional Christian values. It is part of the BNP’s attempt to redraw its battle lines, recognising that the exposed hatred of other races is not winning them votes, but instead tapping into the increasing fear that our country (whatever that phrase may mean) is being changed, subverted, made not what it once was. And it seems that part of this is to reclaim Britain for the “traditional” Christian. This needs to be unpacked.

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It’s good to be right.

Matt Smith is absolutely fantastic. Stephen Moffat was born to be in charge.

“Box falls out the sky, man falls out a box, man eats fish custard.”

Moffat remembered that Doctor Who is a programme for children to watch, and designed to scare them. The opening ten minutes, a series of slapstick and extremely silly lines, were like a rebirthing for the series. A reminder of what it was about – not grimacing, innuendo and snogging, but alternating between laughs and being frightened.

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This week we welcome back Martin Coxall for a second appearance, after last week’s was so lovely with him. Don’t worry if you’re a purest – we’ve since had him sealed in concrete and buried in the North Sea, and next time it will be back to just Nick and John.

The topic not under discussion is: Is the creeping cancer of violent videogames corrupting our kiddies? Moving quickly on, we discover that John wants to be a tall poppy, and then move on to the drinks Martin bought for us. A tub of coconut milk, and a tin of Nourishmilk. Which will be so revolting we pour it down the sink? How can you resist finding out? Then discover what Nick and Martin really think of John when he’s out the room.

Find out how to circumnavigate a gastric band, and then discussions of the two types of hunger. Nick lectures two fat people on how to be thin, which inevitably means discussing the Cheesecake Factory and desserts. Then a really quite heated debate about strawberries, woolly jumper apples, the ripeness of bananas, and the sheer arrogance of rhubarb.

Which countries have the worst breakfasts? And what’s the best offal? Then continuing what’s become a food theme, there’s more discussion of custard and Angel Delight than you could possibly have hoped for. If you wish to defend chocolate custard, get in touch at the email address below. And after, thermal conductivity.

Which would be more dangerous to come back to life, the raptor or the t-rex? Learn how to bring them back to find out! And how Ridley Scott could kill us all. What noise did a dodo make? And where did chickens come from?

And then… I’m not even going to associate myself with it. I think it might be the funniest moment on Rum Doings ever. Be warned, it’s not okay for gentle ears. In fact, let’s never speak of it.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We love you.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

This week in episode 22 we’re not discussing: Is Britain now too much in the thrall of the celebrity culture? Which is harder to say than you might imagine.

Joining us this week, as a special guest, is non-celebrity and friend of ours, Martin Coxall. Nick and I have known him for almost as long as we’ve known each other, so he’s a natural inclusion into this nonsense. Martin sits in the creaky chair, and provides the creaking John would more usually offer.

Things begin with criticising John’s road rage, then criticising John’s pronunciation of years, and a quick insult to the pope. Then we open the mysterious bag containing a mystery rum gift from Victoria, Nick’s wife. What will it be? Will it inevitably be horrible? But then, calamity! An entire pint of coffee is spilt on the carpet, and gets dangerously close to dominating the entire recording.

Which is better for you? Special K, or Frosties? We reveal the TRUTH. We rant against the sanctimonious nature of breakfast cereals, the fear of buying tampons, and then more criticising of John for knowing about periods. That of course brings three men to discuss periods to a depth you probably didn’t want.

What brought down the Romans? The shared bum-sponge we reveal. We complain about QI, ponder the life of the hobo, and confirm the importance of clotted cream. Then of course it’s time to criticise John some more, this time in a reprise of berating him for his consumption of margarine. Sorry about the volume at this point, and your ear drums. Martin exclusively reveals what doesn’t cause cancer. And here’s where you can find out what does and doesn’t cause cancer according to the Daily Mail.

We then have an email about Nick’s dislike of clouds, which somehow becomes an explanation of how wretched Facebook is. Next, thunderstorms. Then religions and the census, and how one might go about being unbaptised, before we dissolve into a rather boring discussion of Star Wars, pleasantly interrupted by a sophisticated criticism of the French language.

Don’t keep it all for yourself, let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We’d appreciate it.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, for some ghastly reason, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Today I am the news. Last week Alec and I were invited to join in a conversation about videogames for the Observer newspaper, in response to an article they are running in the magazine today about a man who spent four years playing GTA and doing lots of cocaine. We were gathered to offer an alternative voice about gaming. The subject was “Are virtual worlds more beguiling than the real world?” We were also given the opportunity to offer a short quote that goes into today’s Observer’s Comment section (not currently online), letting us elaborate on any point we might want to make. I chose to make the point that games in no way need to compete or be compared to the real world. They don’t attempt to supplant it, they are a form of entertainment within it.

Our conversation lasted over an hour, and the edited version is just five minutes, so as you might expect the result is just a few short moments, collated from throughout. So I’d like to say that I didn’t only talk about blubbing at Dreamfall, but I found it amusing that they seemed to just somehow know this was my stereotype moment and picked it out. And heck, it’s one of my most significant gaming moments: no wonder I keep bringing it up. Alec also offered a lot of interesting points, and one of them makes the cut, providing a smart angle on online gaming, and helpfully a more balanced voice that prevents the thing becoming an overly-defensive diatribe. Leo Tan PR Man certainly gets the focus, and deservingly so: that handsome face and accent – who could resist? Also he says smart things. Here’s the video:

While perfectly aware that 90% of those with an internet connection have already watched Merton’s video, I still want to post it here. Thanks to housemate Craig’s spotting it before it had a thousand views I feel some sense of not being the last one to the party. Just the last one to remember to post it. I’m prompted to do so by Ben Folds’ reply video, which is splendid all over again. Both videos contain plenty of swears, petal-eared ones.

I’ve not ventured near Chatroulette, partly because I don’t want to see other men’s winkies, and perhaps somewhat more significantly, because I don’t have a webcam. The idea is lovely (apart from the inevitability of winkies), being randomly connected with a stranger over the internet, and then just chatting about whatever. Random connections, random lines being drawn around the globe. Still, I don’t want to join in. What I do want to do, however, is watch Merton singing improvised songs to the people that appear on his screen, 24 hours a day, for the rest of my life. That this is only five and a half minutes pains me. Although he promises more. And since there’s now just shy of 4 million views on the video, I suspect there’s a lot more planned. Here it is:

Clearly there’s going to be a lot of copycats. Perhaps the best so far is from one Ben Folds. It seems quite a few people have suggested/accused Merton of being Ben Folds, which he very politely points out is somewhat unlikely, what with their having different voices. However, it seems the singer caught wind of this and decided to emulate Merton live on stage, hoodie up, improvising with a live audience. The result is splendid. And once again has had all the penises removed for your safety.

Recording in Nick’s brother’s “studio”, in episode 21 we immediately find ourselves discussing the splendid subject of slugs. Before we’ve even introduced the subject we aren’t discussing. Which is: Is bad language the sign of a poor vocabulary, and a poorer imagination?

Have you ever rifled through someone’s bathroom cabinet? Surely no one really would. But what about interviewing technique? Should you allow the interviewee to answer a question? And how about the works of Mr and Mrs Christ’s Enterprise? These are things we talk about! There’s chat about conspiracists, the absolute fact that the Taleban is the Queen’s personal army, and then we celebrate mighty man of history, King Cnut.

Gravelly-voiced singers, the perils of copyright, and Nick’s fascinating discussion of the colour of the sky, all bring us to the ultimate email we’ve received. I use “ultimate” quite deliberately. I feel quite sure it can’t be beaten. If you want to prove us wrong, contact us here. Find out quite how uncommitted you are compared to these two.

We leap like verbal gazelles from jerk chicken to President Clinton, Amnesty failings to Sonny and Cher’s involvement in the situation in the Middle East. And yes, of course, Ramsey’s Messianic Kitchen Nightmares. Learn John’s criminal history, and then… a big musical finish! What an episode.

Do let other people know about this episode, by whichever means you think best. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal. Thanks to everyone who has, and the lovely things they’ve said. We’d appreciate it.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.