John Walker's Electronic House

As you’ll have noticed, by Episode 41 we’re not funny any more. But it’s fun to remember when we were.

You may also be wondering where episode 40 is. Well, it’s slipped out of time, and you’ll have to live with that. It might come back later.

Together we don’t discuss whether we should bring back fox hunting, but we do drink blackcurrant and rum wine. Then Nick demands that John talk about web comics. We discuss our favourite comic to hate, User Friendly. And as mentioned, here’s John’s decade-old spoof:

And then Nick makes John talk about Brian’s Guide. And banks. And FOSDEM. There’s a horrible story about the Discovery Channel, and uplifting stories about people’s generosity.

Then Mega Drives. And the future of consoles. And somehow Nick initiates this discussion. And just in case we’ve not been funny enough, we talk about speed cameras and car accidents.

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Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e41.mp3]

Episode 39 sees us not discussing: What can we do about Hula Hoops and comic books and their effect on the moral turpitude of the youth?

Back on creaky furniture, arguing over mead, things feel very traditional but for Nick’s peculiar quietness. We talk about times in the witch-encrusted New Forest. Nick reveals the location of Anne Frank’s remains. Nuts are put in their place.

We consider accents, shrieking families, and morris dancing. We talk with pleasure about Radio 4’s former quiz show All The Way From Memphis. There’s thoughts on Sherlock, Nick’s holidays, and John’s world exclusive weight loss programme. And Bath’s weather.

Tweet it, Facebook it, do whatever it is that makes the internet work. And writing a review on iTunes makes us happy in our tummies.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, sigh, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e39.mp3]

It’s the summer, and to celebrate Nick and I are giving ourselves a break from the sickening sight of each other. So this Episode 38 is something of a “best of” I discovered while rooting around in the attic fifty years in the future. It collects together moments from episodes 1 to 10, which I’d forgotten, and you probably did too.

Don’t ignore it just because of that! It’s really good! It’s the half hour of decent bits from the first 450. In hindsight we probably should have included more decent bits. Nick sings! John doesn’t! The origin of cream teas! What an unbelievable treat.

Tweet it, Facebook it, do whatever it is that makes the internet work. And writing a review on iTunes makes us happy in our tummies.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, sigh, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

Or you can listen to it right here!

[audio: http://rumdoings.jellycast.com/files/audio/rumdoings_e38.mp3]

Sore back? Flaky skin? Difficulty sleeping at night? Why not try church?!

For a few years now there’s been a project called Back To Church Sunday. It’s the peculiar name for a day that encourages people to attend church on that one occasion (that isn’t Christmas or Easter), with the assumption implicit in the title that they simply must have been before. (Apparently, when it began, it was intended to encourage those who have left to return, but now its remit has expanded. Unfortunately its name has not.) Presumably the intention is if you can encourage people to come along just this once they’ll realise what they’re missing out on, and choose to stick around.

However, the somewhat awkwardly arrogant name is not the real issue about the campaign. That real issue would be that almost nowhere on their website or promotional materials do they make any mention of God or Jesus, or anything that Christianity is about. Instead they’re trying to sell you your local church as a quality spa day for you and your best friends.

The clearest example of this is their radio advert, which I’ve streamed below. Just hit the play button.

[audio:http://pool.cream.org/back/backto.mp3]

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We’re not really here. We’re in the past. In Episode 37 of Rum Doings we’re speaking to you from history. We’re not discussing whether organic produce is worth the premium for hard-working families.

Can you still lie in? Should God save the Queen? Then something I can’t bring myself to even type. But we can all see who really has the problem, Nick.

Once Nick stops upsetting John with horrible comments (surely this time he’ll garner complaints – come on people, complain), he then criticises John’s job. Then criticises his washing machine.

Why are John and Nick still friends, despite everything? What’s the secret to our parody of success?

Nick needs some suggestions for stopping the nasty boys in his neighbourhood on their noisy bikes. John tries to defend GPs. We then argue for more traffic wardens, and Traffic Politeness Officers. And the taint of BMWs.

Then we ponder the great debate of our time: how do you deal with a fly in your cake cabinet in Starbucks? And when should you sue a Starbucks?

Pencils, handwriting, typing, we cover all the big issues.

Then the tale of when Chris Eubank crushed John’s hand, and his ensuing madness.

Make us more famous than the moon. Tweet it, Facebook it, do whatever it is you young people do. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, sigh, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

You may have been following the saga of Rev. Stuart Campbell Vs. Benchmark Reviews. You may now be wondering why Stu’s site is dead. Here’s the story.

Someone on Stu’s forum spotted a review on the tech site for a chair. A chair called the Herman Miller Embody. It costs $1200, and will apparently cure world hunger. Large sections of the review read an awful lot like a press release. It was filled with the sorts of daft, exaggerated nonsense that wouldn’t make sense for a reviewer to write. Spurious claims of medical benefits, peculiar puff about its design. Stu wrote about this. People who left comments asking about this found their words were instantly deleted. Stu, who then tried to leave another comment asking why, found himself IP banned from the site. As in, he wasn’t even allowed to look at the site from his computer.

Stu updated about this on his blog. He wrote explaining what was happening, and included some evidence that demonstrated that the text on the Benchmark Review site was absolutely directly from press releases and statements made by Herman Miller. Benchmark responded to this by a) changing those passages that Stu pointed out (then declaring that they’d always been that way), and b) published Stu’s home address and phone number on their forum.

(continue reading…)

Welcome to our web of lies. Become entwined in Episode 36‘s multitude of untruthful deceit. Be deceived by our woven evil. Then listen as John’s house falls down.

And while pictures are appearing, here’s that bench:

Then, pear/blueberry cider lengthily discussed, we get around to reading out some of the last million years of emails. And you kept telling us to do this, so you can’t complain.

Does Coke taste better out of a glass? What are the odds of sitting in the United States? Should we stop whining?

Is Nick’s science dodgy? Is that a microphone, or are you just pleased to be recording a podcast? Is Rupert Murdoch Australian? Is Nick safe in your dreams?

Is there a more awful hairdressers name than this?

We then sidetrack into discussing Richard Herring’s As It Occurs To Me, at some length. Then when the name-dropping begins, Douglas Adams.

Make us more famous than the moon. Tweet it, Facebook it, do whatever it is you young people do. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, sigh, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

It’s a back to basics, good old fashioned family values 35th episode of Rum Doings. Just Nick, John, a microphone and a disgusting bottle of rum. And this week we’re not discussing whether FIFA should have to bring in the rule that they should have the cameras in the goal posts to see if the goals are scored instigated.

We bring you some genuinely excellent news from Sainsbury’s (which apparently might be quite old news), and then move on to talk about John’s weekend break, and the joys of a British B&B. This of course involves tales of ketchup and coffee.

We talk about awful people, and responses to cold callers. Nick predicts the end-times, which brings us to the stories about the BP methane bubble. And where exactly does oil come from?

We finish by talking about Raoul Moat, although this was recorded before Cameron made his remarkable comments about feeling no sympathy.

Propel us into international fame. Tweet it, Facebook it, do whatever it is you young people do. And writing a review on iTunes helps us a great deal.

If you want to email us, you can do that here. If you want to be a “fan” of ours on Facebook, sigh, you can do that here.

To get this episode directly, right click and save here. To subscribe to Rum Doings click here, or you can find it in iTunes here.

It has been decreed by our Prime Minister that no one should feel sympathy for Raoul Moat. In a comment made in Prime Minister’s Questions today, he said:

“As far as I can see, it is absolutely clear, that Raoul Moat is a callous murderer. Full stop, end of story. And I cannot understand any wave, however small, of public sympathy for this man. There should be sympathy for his victims, and for the havoc he wreaked in that community. There should be no sympathy for him.”

Just to be clear, obviously Moat’s crimes were terrible. And his victims of course deserve abundant sympathy. The “wave of public sympathy” to which Cameron refers is the much publicised, and obviously ludicrous, Facebook groups in which people are supporting Moat as a hero. No matter what the circumstances of someone’s life, perhaps it’s reasonable to suggest that at the point they start murdering people one should cross them off the hero list. Unless they’re Batman.

However, the idea that in not supporting/endorsing a murderer’s actions one must backflip to the opposite extreme, and exhibit no sympathy at all, is quite extraordinary. It is, in fact, inhuman.

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Because I’m very dumb, I find I cannot resist finding out what adverts will appear for those horrid mouse-over text adverts some blogs and sites will litter themselves with. The word double-underlined is often intriguing enough to wish to learn with what Google will associate it.

The word “addicted” was certainly tempting enough. And I stress, I find the presence of such advertising annoying, and recognise how dumb I am to exacerbate the situation by deliberately letting my cursor near them, but despite this I do anyway. However, I rather loved the result this time. Click on it for a clearer version.

It’s undeniably extremely targeted advertising.