More New TV 09
by John Walker on Feb.04, 2009, under Television
Another huge chunk of comments and thoughts on TV, as it pours out of the sky. Click more for more.
Dexter’s Snow Day
by John Walker on Feb.02, 2009, under The Rest
Okay, so a centimetre of snow fell, and yes, I’m totally grateful for that. London may be getting another foot before bedtime, but a cm is more snow than I’ve seen in this country in my adult life. Also grateful was Dexter, who’d never seen snow settled on the ground before. He seemed quite taken.
This isn’t spectacular action, but it’s Dex playing in snow, and it’s cute.
There’s a high quality version in the options on the farthest right button.
Snow Joke
by botherer on Feb.02, 2009, under The Rest
Being a snow lover, being someone who finds their mood immediately uplifted at the sight of a thick layer of white fluff on every branch, and the landscape transformed, there is nothing more mindless and cruel than telling me that amazing amounts of snow are forecast. “It’s going to snow tonight, a few inches!” “No, it won’t,” I said angrily to all these evil liars. And no, it bloody well didn’t.
Switching on the news this morning is like receiving a phone call from a friend who’s at the party with simply everyone, while you’re at home on your own with nothing to do, and no invite. Schools closed, trains in disarray, killer snowmen destroying cities – I’m SO happy for you all. Bursting with it.
And as I write this, the sky mocks me with a parody of snow. The tiniest specks of white are falling – well, mostly going upward, really – as if to say, “Yes, I am totally capable of snowing on Bath as much as anywhere, but I’m not going to.”
Screw you, sky. You know what? I’m glad about your stupid ozone hole. I hate you.
Letterman Finally Apologises For Hicks Incident
by John Walker on Jan.31, 2009, under Television
David Letterman did something decent last night. Just a bit late. He finally apologised for having cut Bill Hicks from his show in 1993, on Hicks’ twelfth appearance. Hicks was furious, and died a year later having never forgiven Letterman. Letterman expressed regret at the time, but never acknowledged that cutting the segment was an act of revolting cowardice, and demonstrative that he had lost any purpose he might have once had.
Fifteen years late, last night Letterman had Mary Hicks, Bill’s mother, on the show, and apologised to her personally. There’s then an over-rehearsed interview with her, but importantly this is an eight minute segment with a complete unknown, and the mother of a man most of the key demographics might never have heard of. And once the rehearsed anecdotes are over, Mary gives him some shit for what he did. Which is fairly fantastic. And then Letterman shows the original tape uncut.
I like that Letterman acted on this. He’s been haunted by it for a long time, and has said as much in the past. He’s done the right thing, and seemingly done it in a way that’s not scoring points, or linked in to something with which he might want to associate himself. It seems to be a genuine act of contrition.
The videos of the segments are below, but CBS in their infinite stupidity will have these removed from YouTube very soon. I’ll try and update them with working versions, and hopefully Worldwide Pants will have the sense to put the clips online in full very soon. Stick with it through the fuckwittery of the audience as they nervously laugh at the beginning – it’s revolting, but it’s not Letterman’s doing.
by botherer on Jan.31, 2009, under The Rest
Twitter annoyed me. I’m not sure why. I think it’s something about the unimportance of the minutiae of people’s lives, and the over-abundance of communication.
And then I realised I like Facebook Status Updates, and then that was that.
My Twitter is here: https://twitter.com/botherer
Farley’s Rusks For The People
by botherer on Jan.30, 2009, under The Rest
Right, I realise I’ve barely any readers these days, and I realise last thing on Friday is a stupid time to do this, but I need to know.
Most Brits will remember Farley’s Rusks. The biscuits designed for teething babies, aged 4-6 months and older. I’m sure there are equivalents in other parts of the world. Full of calcium and iron, they’re brilliant for babies with their crunchy start, and quick dissolve into mush in the mouth. They’re clearly designed with babies and toddlers in mind. However, I note on the box that there’s no upper age limit.
I’m really quite shocked by the remarkably negative reaction to my buying some the other day from my housemates. All three of them became demented when I offered them one to eat. “BUT THEY’RE FOR BABIES!”
So is milk. And no, not breast milk. Cow milk. At around six months, when you can start giving a baby Rusks, you can give them regular milk. It contains many nutrients babies need! Does that mean it’s exclusively for babies? NO! You’d have to be a colossal idiot to make such an argument.
Therefore, please, can Rusk accepting people out there please let others know they’re delicious and nutritious. There’s a reason it says “for all ages” on the box, people. I hereby begin the campaign for Rusk-eating adults to loudly and proudly declare these enormously flavourful treats as their own!
New TV 09
by botherer on Jan.28, 2009, under Television
New year, new shows. Commentary. Click on for more.
Scientific Breakthrough Sleeps With The Fishes
by John Walker on Jan.23, 2009, under Photos
While in the States, Kim and I went to the Adventure Aquarium in New Jersey. I love aquariums, because things are either colourful, or sharks. These are both good.
But the very best thing in the whole building, even better than the beautiful giant turtle, or the gorgeous colours of the jellyfish, was the sign on the desk at the entrance.
I bent in half laughing, with the staff staring at me in confusion, and Kim staring at me with resigned familiarity. I can’t wait for them to get it working! All those physicists will look pretty silly when they have to go to the New Jersey aquarium.
Edit: Ooh, 1000th blog post.
Raizing Babies
by botherer on Jan.17, 2009, under The Rest
As people I know start to have babies, I’ve realised that in amongst the tens of thousands of books that tell you their right way to raise a child, there’s room for one more. It’s called, “Tips For Raising Your Child (That Might Kill Them)”. It’s admittedly a controversial approach, but it’s bold and original.
Parents have the crap scared out of them every other fifteen seconds. One book will proclaim if you give your five month old a piece of banana before their fifth month and second week they will definitely die by catching on fire. Then the next says that failure to provide banana by this point ensures they’ll die of meningitis. Your baby doesn’t sleep through the night by 13 months? You’re the worst parent ever and you’re going to prison for ever. Your baby does sleep through the night by 13 months? Your baby has Sleep Cancer and will be dead by the morning, you murderer.
Never mind the “advice” visited upon you by everyone who’s had a kid, been a kid, or seen a picture of a kid in a book, all sucking through their teeth at your every action. “Tssss. You let your baby cry for ten minutes?” “Tssssssss. You bath your baby three times a week?” “Tssssssssssssss. You carry your baby on your left hip?”
With so much certain doom prophesied upon you by these morbid soothsayers every day, I think there’s certainly room for the baby raising book where there is a risk for the child.
For instance: Your baby cries too much at night, and you’re not sleeping, and nothing will soothe it? Increase the levels of carbon monoxide in the room. It will help the baby sleep, but it might kill it a bit too.
Worried about diseases? Babies need to build up an immune system to prevent them from getting sick when they’re older. So instead of food, feed your child a variety of poisons, allergens and dirt. If they survive, they’ll be near immortal.
Concerned your child may have latent super-powers that aren’t being realised by traditional baby-raising advice? We all know babies can instinctively swim, but later lose the ability if not taught. The same is true for all manner of paranormal powers. To check for most of these before those instincts are lost, throw it out an upstairs window.
Despite this, during the last week I’ve been left alone for the odd hour with an eighteen-month-old girl, which is far less terrifying than I’d thought. I’d assumed it would be the cute little girl screaming in misery at being left with the hairy big man, him sitting there helplessly, surrounded by bleeping toys and puddles of tears. Turns out such brief babysitting is mostly about going through wooden books with colourful pictures of cows and apples, stacking boxes into short-lived towers, and watching Yo Gabba Gabba on Tivo. Oh, Yo Gabba Gabba – it is by far the best thing in pre-school TV since Sesame Street. I will be writing more about Yo Gabba Gabba for sure.
BSG
by John Walker on Jan.17, 2009, under Television
No spoilers, promise. Just watched the first episode of the final 10, and it’s important to note, for the record, that Kim and Nick have come up with what must surely be the correct theory that explains the entire show.
Just making the note here now to prove that they’re geniuses later. And to make sure, here’s a cryptic statement – I don’t believe you could possibly take anything from it, but don’t click below if you’re dedicated: