John Walker's Electronic House

Rum Doings Episode 103: I Have Two Legs And One Arm And Three Noses, What Am I, I Am The Day, But Not The Night, Do I Give You A Fright, No I Don’t, For I Am A Curtain That Closes And Opens, Will I Be Better Or Worse During The Winter Or The Summer, Or Is It The Spring, A Red Day Or A Red Night, Or A Blue Sky Makes The Rain Come. Now Who Am I And When Did I Be?

by on Apr.20, 2012, under Rum Doings, The Rest

Episode 103 of Rum Doings is voiced by two tired, over-fed, and cold-riddled men, hidden away in a dark lounge while their wives sleep. We don’t discuss how it could be possible that there’s a hosepipe ban AND flood warnings!!!! Instead we explain the new rules for standing ovations. We discover that we’re both terrible Jews, but not as bad as Mel Gibson.

We remember our ridiculous lunchtime meal, where Nick definitely didn’t ignore the basic tenets of his inherited religion, and then almost instantly move onto Nick’s favourite topic, games. Which he keeps bringing up. This time Kickstarted games. Then the dangers of bacon-flavoured drugs, why cocaine makes you a dick, and how LSD became naughty.

Talk of cats gets us to superstitious pigeons, and eventually Elmo. Then we feel oooooooooooold. Also, now, from 80 years old laws don’t count for you. Oh, and people called Lee are banned from listening.

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19 Comments for this entry

  • Dick Simulations

    Jerome Flynn from Robson & Jerome has taken to playing Bronn in Game of Thrones.

  • geetoo

    The age of consent is 16, not 18. So you need ne cream tea for people born in 1996.

  • geetoo

    No cream tea I meant.

  • Kolko

    Or you could go to the Vatican and go back to 2000 for cream tea free fun time.

    I’ve heard it on QI, so it has to be true.

  • snacks

    I am very impressed, perhaps inordinately so, with the way Nick rattled off that riddle. I can’t decide if it would be more impressive to know that it’s an actual riddle (or bits of actual riddles) that he had memorized or if he made it up on the spot. Perhaps it is both.

  • Hugo Krunk

    Your brief mention of the works of Hayao Miyazaki, had me wondering if either of you had seen the appallingly named Princess Mononoke. It’s a film that encompasses environmentalism, the futility and self perpetuating nature of conflict fueled by hate (which I think is its main focus), and characters that are morally ambiguous. As far as I can discern there isn’t a bad guy, even though it’s a children’s film. Although the monk is extremely suspect/selfish.

  • Bionic_dreadlog

    I hope this episode is good enough to live up to that incredible title. If not…

  • MrTwitchy

    There have been several studies showing very positive results using LSD and psilocybin (magic mushrooms) in depression and related conditions. I recall one study I read was actually carried out among terminal cancer patients, the majority of whom reported sustained reduction in depressive symptoms after use of these substances. Something about the strange “existential” and sympathetic, interpersonal epiphanies which people often experience under the influence of these substances (as opposed to the stereoptypical “I saw the meaning of life maaaaan!”) seems to stick with people and provide genuine comfort and perspective in times of crisis. Also MDMA has shown promise in the treatment of post traumatic stress disorder. I’m far from some spaced out drug advocate, but current drug policy seems to be at best futile and at worse actively harmful to society and stifling towards development of actual benefits which certain drugs may provide.

  • mister k

    Surely all ovations are disablist against those without functioning control of their arms?

  • snacks

    “Hosepipe ban” sounds like it should be something like Hee-Haw’s All-Jug Band. (Racist.)

  • EthZee

    I prefer the sound of a horsepipe ban.

    Also, if you don’t trust the police, I would like to know if you trust your fellow citizens? (in a general sense – how much do you trust the general public as a whole; good or bad)

    (and I listened to this one before 102, so take that, Nick!)

  • Daniel Beardsall

    John, I am disappoint. You don’t know what year the ZX81 came out? THE CLUE IS IN THE NAME.

  • Alex

    That Polka Dot Door show was apparently on TV for ages, but I’d never heard of it. The show that I loved, growing up, was The Raccoons.

    The goofy but lovable main character is an investigative journalist and avid hockey player. Together with his friends at the local newspaper, he often foild plots by the aggressive capitalist aardvark Cyril Sneer to destroy the Evergreen forest!

    How much more Canadian could you get?

  • Bal

    MMO’s were a fad 5 years ago? What?

  • Gassalasca

    Laura was born in ’83? What?! But… but… one of my ex-girlfriends was born in ’83!

    I sort of assumed that… because she was married to John, she must be the same age as him. Because that is always the case in married couples. My logic is impeccable, I know.

    Btw, has anyone here seen this cartoon:

  • Xercies

    @Hugo Krunk

    I don’t think Princess Mononke is a childrens film, one it has flying limbs everywhere(The samarai in there really do not have good limb strength, flying arrows will just cleanly cut there arms and heads off) plus as you said there is pretty complex characters and themes being dealt in there, its quite a complex movie.

    Though the samarai could considered to be the main bad guys since there iisn’t much characterisation to them like the others. But I liked the film because it was so maroally grey.

  • Hugo Krunk


    Alright, it probably isn’t a children’s film. I have a knee jerk reaction that anything animated is for kids, which obviously isn’t always the case. When I first saw it, I had very low expectations and it just impressed me. Both in style (I love how still, quiet and atmospheric the scenes in the centre of the forest are) and in its moral ambiguity.

  • John Walker

    Bal – you might want to listen a touch more carefully.

  • Toby Collins

    I think my life would be forever worsened if you both decided to stop making this podcast. Your podcast is the calm spot in the middle of the storm. Pure Audiosex