John Walker's Electronic House

A Response To Eurogamer’s 8/10 Score For Uncharted 3

by on Oct.26, 2011, under The Rest

Look, they made him feel pretty good. The bastards.

A few people are leaping to defend Eurogamer and the so-called “Simon Parkin” for their controversial review of Uncharted 3.

I would just like to say that I am reasonably delighted by this disgusting behaviour. The website clearly hates games, and clearly has no understanding of its audience, and it makes me mostly very happy. Why do they allow people like Simon Parkin to review games such as Uncharted, when it’s quite clear that he set out to slate it before he even started? Honestly, when I found out it was him reviewing it, I was hopping pleased.

Uncharted clearly deserves at least 10/10, despite any flaws it might have. Listing those flaws was a deliberate act of sabotage on the developers at Naughty Dog, and if I were them I’d be gnashing my teeth with pleasure. It’s just typical of Eurogamer, who make a habit of dishing out such insultingly low scores, and I think it’s time for their audience to take a stand and let them know just how mostly happy about it they are.

I spend at least 80% of my time being perfectly happy with the output of Eurogamer, and it is simply abysmal. At some point people have to take a stand. And I’m willing to come out and just say that I think Eurogamer is impressive most of the time, and I don’t care how upset they get by my saying that. It’s absolutely fine.


11 Comments for this entry

  • alice

    Is that the same just fine that Duke Nukem Forever was?

  • John Walker

    I don’t follow. EG gave DNF 3/10.

  • mister k

    I genuinely don’t understand angry internet commenters with regard to marks. As someone who reads the article, I can always choose to disagree with Mr Parkin’s words, and thus probably with the score at the end. Oh… whats the point. People on the internet are silly people.

  • NM

    It clearly takes particularly important Affairs of State to bring you out of blog stasis.

  • John Walker

    Yup – I thought of a joke.

  • jonathan

    NM, it is a pretty awful state of affairs.

  • mister k

    “Is there any point in reading EG reviews anymore? Can I just safely assume that every game is an 8/10? ” is quote from the BF3 review. I dislike people intensely.

  • George

    I pay no attention to console game news, so I have no idea what this is about. Uncharted 3 got a decent score and people are angry because they think it’s better? Or are they angry because Parkin slated it in the review but gave it a good score? Or are they angry because he used the ohm as a unit of power?

  • Simon

    I also can’t believe the sloppy measuring system Eurogamer uses, just 10 levels? With such a blatant disregard for accuracy it’s no surprise they were so far off the mark. They’re almost as bad as RPS, who can’t even bother to summarize their results in an aggregation-compatible number.

    Video game reviewing is an exact science, governed by the peer-reviewed journal of Metacritic, and the scientific consensus is that it’s a 94. That Eurogamer was so far off the mark really brings their whole methodology into question.

  • alice

    John, I was referring to this: which I know Alec wrote but your last sentence evoked that article.

  • Jambe

    Why do writers and publishers care about the opinions of ill-mannered reactionary vocal-minority goobers? You’re an industry veteran, John, so your take on why it’s worth commentary interests me. Was this just a gag-commentary on “those gosh-darned kids” or is there more to it?

    I mean, I doubt the various complainers are a significant percentage of EG’s readership. All this commentary on review-hate can be boiled down to, “Oh wow, fans exist, and they are often blindly defensive of their fandoms.”


    Also, scores and weighted scales and number-flinging and all the associated analogizing and fluff is tedious and distracting. That’s why I like opinion-based reviews like those at RPS.