John Walker's Electronic House

Eurovision, Of Course

by on May.25, 2008, under Television

Not watching it makes you the worst sort of pariah. There’s something for everyone, so long as what you want is a cavalcade of nonsense and confusion, presented by grinning mannequins speaking a language they learned that morning, and a collection of songs from another dimension where ABBA and The Cheeky Girls bred the entirity of humanity. And if that’s not what you want, then I don’t want to know you.

France made the rather enormous mistake of entering a really excellent song. Naturally it stood no chance, and not just because the majority of Eastern Europe voted for Russia in a desperate plea not to be invaded and/or have their gas cut off. Decent songs are to Eurovision voters as cow manure is to ice cream toppings.

It’s a song so good it’s been stuck on loop on my computer this morning. By S├ębastien Tellier, apparently produced by Daft Punk (according to Stu, who has listened to it about 39 times more than I), and in a break-out move for France, isn’t a tedious French-language misery-ballad sung by one of France’s few grotesque women. Instead it’s what would happen if Jarvis Cocker fronted the Polyphonic Spree. Accompanied by bearded-lady backing singers. It’s perfect and joyous and real. Watch it again and again:

The other highlight was certainly Bosnia-Herzegovina with what I have named, “The Washing Line Song”. Much more in the spirit of being a bonkers Eurovision song, it then went a step higher by having the most fantastic piano backing. If Sigur Ros did children’s parties.

I’d link to Spain’s, for its proper batshit insane song about other dance crazes, including excited cries of “ROBOCOP!”, but I can’t find a version from last night, and I feel most of the magic would be lost without the English subtitles.

Meanwhile, buy Tellier’s album here!

6 Comments for this entry

  • Terry Wogan

    Heavens, I’m suprised there hasn’t been an uproar about inhaling helium. Tsk!

  • Yann Best

    I’ve… got to admit I didn’t like the French entry. Just not to my tastes, I guess. Azerbaijan, however – was fantastic. Couldn’t understand why Terry didnae like it. Watching Russia get all of the votes was depressing, though.

  • Greg

    You are right – the French song was awesome. The other songs wern’t, although I did like that girl with the apples on her skirt.

  • kat

    hello and i could not agree more(also, hilarious and spot on comments). Exactly what I have been saying since saturday. Tellier did an amazing song, pure pop with a french coolness of the 60s. The Bosnia was an revitilising indie entrance and performance and the spanish was hilariously deranged a la Almodovar..So happy that other people distinguished the top 3 that were meant to be for a different competition which I haven’t worked out any names for it yet. Any suggestions?.

  • Schadenfreude

    Still a little upset Ireland didn’t qualify. It’s a rubbish song, sung by a puppet. But a) It makes fun of Terry Wogan and b) It really pissed off those people who take Eurovision far, far too seriously (Dana, I’m looking at you).

  • H

    This is the Spanish Eurovision entry:

    Sounds to me like an old arcade game soundtrack.