John Walker's Electronic House

Doctor Who Christmas “Special”

by on Dec.27, 2007, under Television

I officially declare, having signed all the relevant documents, that I will never watch another RTD-penned Doctor Who so long as I both shall live.

That was the worst thing that has ever happened on planet Earth. Holocaust, you’re in second place.

Every stinking cliche imaginable, with no purpose or direction. An insult to eyes and ears. Big fat stupid people are heroic because they’re fat and stupid, and so hard-done by. Rich people are EVIL. Robots have to die. Kylie Minogue has a magical cycling non-accent. Russell T Davies should be sealed in concrete and buried at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean.

22 Comments for this entry

  • Janek

    To be fair, it wasn’t AS bad as some of the others. Plus. Um. Kylie in a skimpy maid dress?

    I daresay I’ll end up sitting through all of them (OH GOD HELEN RAYNOR GOT THE SONTARAN EPISODES) in the hopes that karma will drop something magnificent in my lap to repay all my suffering. At least Moffat’s getting more than one episode.

  • Tim E

    Even I thought that was shit.

  • bob_arctor

    Drinking helps you put up with the nonsense. And decided whether you’d do Kylie or is she too old now. Maid uniform gives her +1. And the fat people did die entertainingly.

    Extras christmas special made up for it.

  • colinr

    And remember that Catherine Tate and season 2 of Torchwood (rude words, shagging, we’re so adult!) is just around the corner!

  • Smee

    What I like is the image of RTD sitting at his desk saying things like “Ah, this’ll be great! Look at this amazing character development! Everyone has a story arc! I’m a genius!”

    The only good thing about that episode was the regenerating stomach-wound boy-sailor’s VERY MANLY SCREAM when he saw the robots hand stuck in the door. Classic.

  • John

    Was Queer As Folk really any good, or has RTD always been a useless hack?

  • Tim E

    Depends if you like rimming, really.

  • Nick Mailer

    RTD is the Wrong Sort of Gay for writing Sci Fi. He clearly hates the genre, and sees it merely as a platform for his banally inclusive leftism (and, more than once, quite nasty anti-Americanism). The Special also confirmed that Tennant is a pretty rubbish actor. If he literally grits his teeth to show conviction and gumption once more, I’ll shove my fist through the telly and break them.

  • John

    Not only anti-Americanism, but also some rather unpleasant xenophobia at the end, with his sickly declaration that “only Britain is great”, when compared with Germany and France. The line was made far worse by its horrible inevitability from the moment the wacky tourguide got the names wrong. How odd that the alien from millions of light years away would have such a strong bias toward one country on a distant planet. Why, you could almost think that the programme is nothing but a platform for RTD’s vile platitudes.

  • Rev. S Campbell

    But all Americans are so loathsome. And fat.

  • Rev. S Campbell

    (I’ve just been watching Remembrance Of The Daleks, one of the last Doctor Whos made before RTD, and you people have no idea how lucky you are.)

  • Janek

    Pretty much all I can remember about that is Sophie Aldred beating up a Dalek with a baseball bat. Then possibly yelling “ace!” and jumping out a window.


  • Will

    I quite liked it.

    (There does seem to be a theme appearing here. Sorry.)

  • Will

    (And Remembrance of the Daleks had the renegade dalek with the bazooka in the middle didn’t it? That was the highlight of my formative years.)

  • John

    Will, that you are allowed to critique anything, let alone edit a national critical magazine, frankly frightens me.

  • The_B

    I think I’m agreeing with Janek slightly about Kylie in a skimpy dress.

    But yeah. The episode was pretty much one long cliche.

  • Tom

    I know Moffat is generally good, but has there been anything else like Blink? I just re-watched that the other day, and it remains singularly masterful.

  • John

    Moffat wrote the wonderful WW2 two-parter in the first series (“Are you my mummy?”), and the best episode of Doctor Who since it returned, The Girl In The Fireplace in series two. So every episode he’s written has been stunning.

  • matt

    The final two episodes of the second Tennant season- why do we need two musical numbers?

    Oh, wait, i forgot. RTD wrote them.

    And yes, Blink was one of the best ones yet.

  • Steve Wilkinson

    “Big fat stupid people are heroic because they’re fat and stupid.”

    Prejudices shining through a little? They weren’t stupid, merely common, but your mind appears to be unpleasantly equating the two.

  • John

    No, they were defiantly stupid. It’s not prejudiced to point out when someone is stupid. It’s fairly dismally moronic to pretend otherwise.

  • Steve W

    Weren’t they robotics experts or something? So not totally thick, is what I’m getting at.

    I’ll leave this alone, however, as my memory of the episode has thankfully been pushed aside by vastly superior shows in the past month or so. Sorry if my comment seemed a bit strong; it didn’t come out exactly as intended.