John Walker's Electronic House

Capital Punishment

by on Oct.15, 2005, under The Rest

King John, in response to his Most Esteemed Royal Advisor Duchess Kim of the Commonwealth of PA, officially decrees the hideous murder of ‘Bobsy’, for so heinously making claims on the Royal City of Illinois.

Others have been named in the first round of beheadings for their greed or stupidity, but none shall suffer so painfully as Bobsy. His name is henceforth banned from utterance in the Kingdom of Americaland, under penalty of death.

The Mountain Goats were utterly awesome, and they played Your Belgian Things, about which I couldn’t have been more delighted. They kept their heads throughout.

Those to die also listed with current Duchy appointments.

Those Getting Beheaded For Asking For States Already Taken Or Being Generally Stupid

The Late StuM: for requesting taken states and being grotesquely greedy.

Graham Payne: For commenting in the wrong section twice.


8 Comments for this entry

  • Cian

    So no chance of a Royally Commisioned invasion of Pennsylvania then?

  • StuM

    Apparently I’m now dead, but could I be made Duke of South Dakota? I could be a Count if it’s a requirement for undead rulers. “Count Stu of the Legion of the Damned and South Dakota” Maybe a bit self-indulgent? Or just “Duke of South Dakota” if the whole “Legion of the Damned” thing is me being greedy again. I really hope I don’t get beheaded a second time for this…

  • BBB

    Come on feel the Illinoise! Although not in a treasonous way at all.

  • admin

    Absolutely no treason whatsoever. Sufjan Stevens shall be made my royal singer.

  • Roy

    Hurrah! he’s only got 48 states left to do.

  • Ross

    North Dakota please. And South too, if StuM isn’t allowed it. Go on, please – there’s not much there except sky.

  • Dave McLeod

    I herby make a formal request for the dukeship of Alabama. Please Lord Walker

    Lord Walker…has an oddly terrifying ring to it

  • admin

    While StuM is dead, and hence inelligible for a state, Ross comes very close to a beheading there for greed. Fortunately, he is my boss, and so just scrapes through.