Capital Punishment
by John Walker on Oct.15, 2005, under The Rest
King John, in response to his Most Esteemed Royal Advisor Duchess Kim of the Commonwealth of PA, officially decrees the hideous murder of ‘Bobsy’, for so heinously making claims on the Royal City of Illinois.
Others have been named in the first round of beheadings for their greed or stupidity, but none shall suffer so painfully as Bobsy. His name is henceforth banned from utterance in the Kingdom of Americaland, under penalty of death.
The Mountain Goats were utterly awesome, and they played Your Belgian Things, about which I couldn’t have been more delighted. They kept their heads throughout.
Those to die also listed with current Duchy appointments.
Those Getting Beheaded For Asking For States Already Taken Or Being Generally Stupid
The Late StuM: for requesting taken states and being grotesquely greedy.
Graham Payne: For commenting in the wrong section twice.
Bobsy: FOR BEING SO DESPICABLE AND EVIL AS TO MAKE CLAIMS ON THE ROYAL CITY OF ILLINOIS
October 15th, 2005 on 16:32
So no chance of a Royally Commisioned invasion of Pennsylvania then?
October 15th, 2005 on 17:20
Apparently I’m now dead, but could I be made Duke of South Dakota? I could be a Count if it’s a requirement for undead rulers. “Count Stu of the Legion of the Damned and South Dakota” Maybe a bit self-indulgent? Or just “Duke of South Dakota” if the whole “Legion of the Damned” thing is me being greedy again. I really hope I don’t get beheaded a second time for this…
October 16th, 2005 on 09:40
Come on feel the Illinoise! Although not in a treasonous way at all.
October 16th, 2005 on 14:41
Absolutely no treason whatsoever. Sufjan Stevens shall be made my royal singer.
October 16th, 2005 on 18:56
Hurrah! he’s only got 48 states left to do.
October 17th, 2005 on 11:32
North Dakota please. And South too, if StuM isn’t allowed it. Go on, please – there’s not much there except sky.
October 17th, 2005 on 13:19
I herby make a formal request for the dukeship of Alabama. Please Lord Walker
Lord Walker…has an oddly terrifying ring to it
October 17th, 2005 on 13:40
While StuM is dead, and hence inelligible for a state, Ross comes very close to a beheading there for greed. Fortunately, he is my boss, and so just scrapes through.