John Walker's Electronic House

14 Comments for this entry

  • Wilko

    I especially like:

    “I have plenty of game playing friends who can rant with the best of them. Their metaphors are funnier and less self indulgent.”

    “Not good, guys. Pointless ranting and exaggeration.”

    and

    “Shame on you Eurogamer, shame on you!”

    Withering disdain for mediocrity is what you do best; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

  • Kowalski

    “Withering disdain for mediocrity is what you do best; don¬ít let anyone tell you otherwise.”

    ’tis true.

    Most Eurogamer subscribers obviously have cold, humour-less hearts.

    Most seem to unashamedly applaud shite games.

  • chris

    I thought that the comment saying, “IGN usually has bullet points, saying the number of levels, the features, the modes, the number of characters, etc. This is the stuff I want to read.” was best.

    Personally, I suspect that I enjoyed reading that review several orders of magnitude more than I would have enjoyed playing the game.

    No matter how many bullet points it had on the back of the box.

  • Richard Hamer

    Some people just refuse to accept when a series as fallen from grace though, to be honest, i’ve never thought Tenchu was up to much.

    genre fan mass self-delusion seems to be becoming a regular feature on this blog as of late.

  • pharoahe_monch

    never taken interest in Tenchu series myself, but you were really too harsh on poor game. sometimes, the line between humorous perspective and flatout insulting is rather thin, doncha think?

  • Wilko

    “IGN usually has bullet points, saying the number of levels, the features, the modes, the number of characters, etc. This is the stuff I want to read.”

    That’s not a review; that’s a press release. If they want all that, they should just read the back of the bloody box; lazy sods.

    That’s like those film reviews where the critic spends 96% of the review outlining the basic plot before grafting “you’ll have a blast!” onto the end.

  • Lewis

    I don’t actually understand what the problem with that review was. I didn’t particularly like the Thief comparison, admittedly – it seemed slightly superfluous. However, the piece as a whole was solid and clearly performed its duty as a review. I actually wonder whether the majority of critics of it actually read the entire article, or just read the first paragraph and skipped to the score.

  • Andy Krouwel

    You missed the ‘bless you’ gag.

  • John W

    Man! You’re right. If only you’d been there earlier.

  • bob_arctor

    I liked the Thief reference. As I am a complete Thief Fan-Boi(z) and it PWNS Sphincter Cell and Metal Arse Solid. Hur hur.

  • Tom

    My favourite:

    “‘Its the job of us readers to go on rants. I expect a review to provide objective information about the pros and cons of the game at hand.’

    Bollocks. If you want boring, unimaginative and unremarkable reviews then read Edge magazine……. “

  • Clare

    Don’t replace the lemonade with fizzy water…I made someone throw up that way!

  • John W

    Heh – did you do that talk?

    Stevie D got the head girl and a senior teacher at Guildford High School to do it once. I like to think the assemblies Steve did were slightly better than most.

  • Tom Camfield

    The best review I’ve read in ages. More please.