John Walker's Electronic House

by on Apr.25, 2005, under The Rest

So I’ve been a bit busy.

Well, not so much “busy”, as “not busy”.

The important news is: I finally relaxed for a few days, after months of feeling as though my spine might snap from tension. It does mean I now have 5400 words of freelance to write by Wednesday, but that’s still preferable to a severed spinal chord and the accompanying death.

People have been useless in suggesting what to do with the rest of my life. Do better. I shall be more helpful this time.

Firstly, no, I do not want to become a vicar. The pastoral side of the job is something I wouldn’t cope with. I’m lovely, obviously, and am always willing to listen to people and so on. However, I don’t want that to be my job. I’m not convinced that my own brand of pastoral care would be appropriate either – calling someone a “wee-face” when their sister has just been eaten by wolves is not listed as a helpful technique in many counselling guides, despite being something I find to work well. Vicars just can’t do that. And it’s for that reason, the desire to call people a “wee-face”, that I can never take up the vocation. Also there’s the stupid hours, the archaic church rules, the having to take funerals and weddings, and the further three years of university.

I also want a break from youth work. I’ve been doing it for six years, and while that’s hardly a lifetime, I would like to pause before carrying on. Ideally, oh so ideally, I’d like to find a church I could bear to attend, and be a volunteer helper with their youth groups. A spare time thing, rather than a job. Then I could do the bit I’m interested in – the face to face work – and not all the bloody faffing around that has driven me to distraction of late.

The other thought I have is the youth coffee shop plan. Bath has nothing for teenagers to do. Much like every town or city in the country, after school or in the evenings a teenager can either a) go to the pub, or b) go to the pub. Both of which they’re not really meant to do. And if you ask, not what they really want to do every single day. So the idea is, as so many other towns have, to open a coffee shop aimed at young people in Bath. These are generally successful ventures, and it’s something I’m interested in doing. However, I’m not interested in accounts, management, or funding applications. What I need is to find some sort of freakish weirdo who is interested in such tedious drivel, and partner up. Ideally this person will be in their mid 20s, female, single, and attracted to people who look and act a lot like me. So that’s a longer-term goal, maybe something for next year.

But meanwhile, what to do? I still have the treasures of the Knights Templar to discover, after that was delayed last year due to inefficiency. But what else?

Also, Brian has finally been updated after a naughty week off.

14 Comments for this entry

  • Bobsy

    Wouldn’t that mean going head-to-head with Starbucks, Coffee Republic, and all the others? I didn’t notice any in Bath when I was last there, but the shear nature of the place just implies it being the natural habitat of squishy sofas and large mugs full of American sitcom wannabes.

  • Prometheus

    What theyre campaigning for here in Dublin are places that let teenagers in bands play gigs as most venus are over 18s and the only other thing that the govt. gives them in terms of things to do is sports. Which leaves 80% of our youth to sample the delights of columbias finest.

    While youre sorting things out, read ‘On idleness’ by bertrand russell if you havent already.

    (oooh, the button says ‘Say It!’ in an enthusiastic manner. Much more exhilerating then ‘Submit’ or ‘Ok’ or whatever.)

  • John

    “Which leaves 80% of our youth to sample the delights of columbias finest.”

    I’m not sure if you mean coffee or cocaine. A cocaine bar for teenagers… It might catch on.

  • John

    (Also: you can “Submit” a “Comment”, but to add a “tsukkomi” requires a different level of enthusiasm).

  • Tim R

    Is that Colombia or British Columbia? If it’s for under 18s it’s probably coke, although they kill people in colombia too (so I hear), so they’re still very much in the company of the coca and coffee industries.

    Bertrand Russell and Ludwig Wittgenstein once had an argument in which Wittgenstein refused to absolutely confirm there was not rhino in the room. Just thought you’d like to know…

  • Tim R

    sorry, please insert ‘a’ between ‘not’ and ‘rhino’ – as far as I understand, rhinos normally come in discreet quantities.

  • Pete Osborne

    What exactly do you mean by ‘all the bloody faffing around’?

  • John

    Paperwork and meetings and meetings and paperwork and meetings. That sort of thing.

  • Andy Krouwel

    Hey, you’ve already done loads.
    Why not retire?

  • Bobsy

    “as far as I understand, rhinos normally come in discreet quantities”


  • Rev. S Campbell

    If you’re going to be picky about typos, you might want to spell “discrete” properly. Rhinos don’t do *anything* discreetly.

  • Graeme

    You’d have to go to University for another 3 year to be a vicar? I know you don’t want to anyway, but I’m astonished.

  • Tim R

    Whoops. Still, the last time I confided in a rhino it didn’t gossip about me behind my back, so it *could* be discreet after all. I’m pushing my luck, aren’t I?

  • Clare

    A little Tim…but it’s comments like that, that make you…well…you.