John Walker's Electronic House

Dear the BBC,

I wish to complain in the strongest possible tone about the next blasphemous, abhorent and evil programme you intend to televise at some point in the future. I am furious that you consider whatever it may be to be suitable for our televisions, and demand that you remove it from your schedules immediately.

I would also like to call for the resignation of whomever should be in charge of the channel at the time of the planned broadcast, as clearly he or she has no concept of morality and is unsuitable to have a position of responsibility at our Queen’s televisual station.

The damage that will be done by whatever it might be will be incalculable, especially to the innocent and fragile minds of babies, children and the mental. It makes me enter a corybantic rage to think that the BBC believes this depraved, despicable and horrific filth is appropriate for our eyeballs and brains, especially when we live in a country in which so many poor, stupid or foreign people have easy access to your broadcasts.

Obviously I shall be destroying my TV License when the replacement copy arrives, and I shall be encouraging others to do the same, as soon as such a time should occur when you show this programme, whenever that might be.

You disgust me, and you reduce the name of our Good Lord Jesus Christ, Lord and Mighty Saviour of MANkind to a swear word! It is quite clear that your corporation is infested with gays and blacks, and I weep for your souls on the day the Mighty God of the Universe crushes you slowly to death under His Holy Heels, popping your eyeballs from your sockets as your fragile, limp carcasses collapse pathetically, before you are cast into the eternal torment of a firey Hell.

With the love of Our Lord Jesus,
General Brigadier Second Lieutenant Gerald Harralfmanster, OBE.