John Walker's Electronic House

by on Jan.09, 2005, under The Rest

John's in trouble

Oh deary me, looks like I’m in a pickle. Although I do need to grow a pointy moustache.

Following the ludicrous furore over Jerry Springer The Musical, led by right-wing Christian organisations who don’t even have the balls to expressly state that they are Christians, I have reached the point where I can no longer sit still while these hateful, cruel and foul-faced bigots represent the faith that means so much to me. They are a wretched minority, screaming their bullshit so loud that no one else can be heard.

So I’m going to do something about it. Plans made, manifesto written, cogs beginning to whirr.

Watch out for Christians Who Think.

Poor old John

14 Comments for this entry

  • Richard Cobbett

    Bloody good idea too – and as we both know, I speak as an athiest.

  • Rowan

    Interesting coincidence, as I was about to post that very tract on the WoS forums for comedy purposes… before noticing that there is not a single thing about it that is at all funny.

    I introduced a Christian pal to the Wonderful World of Jack T Chick, and he’s sent this email to the webmasters (probably a futile gesture, but valid) :

    I am intruiged by this website. As a practicing Christian, I was given
    the address of this site by a friend because he thought it was a
    parody of what america has to offer spiritually. As far as I can
    gather, it’s the real thing. Please accept my apologies if this is a
    spoof, however.

    I cannot imagine anything more dangerous to the faith
    than this kind of fundementalism. It is filled with hatred and bigotry
    and aims to inform people by force rather than persuasion. Targeting
    vunerable young people before they have freewill is, in my opinion,
    very highly imorral and amongst the worst crimes you can commit
    against someone.

    It is impossible to hold a correct fundamentalist
    view based on the bible, as much conflicts within it. It is our duty
    to pick out what we believe to be true. Much has gone awry in
    translation, marginal gloss and suchlike over the years, as scholars
    such as Gunkel and Steeter, not to mention Augustine, one of the
    fathers of the Church have pointed out.

    You haste to point out
    inconsistencies in the Koran but gloss over major problems for the
    type of interpretation you favour. As Christians it is our duty to
    inspire love in others not the hatred of strangers in a way that
    borders on the goings on of very shady organisations. I’m sure that
    outright racism such as that which you seem to propose would not have
    been encouraged by Jesus. Perhaps you should read Luke and get a wider
    view of what Jesus actually said.

  • John

    Excellent work. Sadly, I am certain he will already have arguments to counter all your points. I’ve never had communication with Jack Chick, but I have with others of a similar mind, including an insane exchange with the spiteful man who writes CAPalert. It’s all but futile and very depressing, but I still think necessary.

    I think what’s also important to note is that Jack Chick is clearly quite mad.

  • Richard Cobbett

    The one good thing about Jack Chick is that his inability to write characters that aren’t total and utter pricks (whether they’re the main characters, the forces of darkness or even God – as in that tract) makes his lunacy immediately obvious to anyone with functioning braincells. Much like Rowan, everyone I’ve shown a Chick tract to who hasn’t already witnessed his theofascist drivel has assumed it was a Landover Baptist style parody of people like him. Which, ironically, it often is.

    Sadly, that still leaves a lot of people sticking them under car windshields at Wal-Mart.

    As for the letter, I can pretty much guarantee that if he gets a response at all, it’ll be something along the lines of “If that is what you believe, you are a heathen in the eyes of God and shall burn for eternity. Any future mail from this address shall be burned.”

  • Rowan

    I knew it was real, unfortunately- it was my pal who sent the email who thought it was a spoof.

  • chrissy

    don’t get me wrong, i totally agree with the Jack Chick argument, but i have to pick out a line from rowan:

    >>It is our duty to pick out what we believe to be true.

    anyone else have an issue with that? maybe it’s just me…

  • Richard Cobbett

    Certainly when it’s people quoting just the bits they like from, say, Leviticus.

  • John

    But at this point it comes down to the difference between eisegesis and exegesis. If people would do their hermenuetics (put the quote into context) before their exegesis (then applying it to our context), then so much would not be the hateful rubbish it often sounds. To just apply something to now, entirely out of context (eisegesis), renders it meaningless. So most of Leviticus, when understood as said to a people living in cramped conditions in the desert wilderness for forty years with few provisions and no sanitation, a lot of the maddest bits make more sense. Disposing of things covered in period blood as a hygeine rule is a bit more sensible in context, rather than an insane bitch at female-kind. And so on.

    I’m not saying I’m clearing up the issues in Leviticus, but I would argue that to just pick and choose the bits you like without a lot of study is to over-simplify.

  • Richard Cobbett

    I see it’s Dictionary Day ;-)

  • Rowan

    Yeh, it’s more the case that Christians should pick out what’s *valid* and what isn’t.

    I’m of the fairly peculiar opinion that Christians shouldn’t bother reading any of the Bible beyond the gospels.

  • Rowan

    Yeh, it’s not so much about choosing what’s *true* as what’s *valid* here and now.

  • Paul Blackis wracked by Ketosis

    I commend your venture.

    My natural curiosity relishes the idea of peering into your head.

  • Rowan

    My schizophrenic commenting can be explained by the fact that the original message didn’t seem to show up. How frustrating.

    Ignore the second one, obv.

  • Tim R

    Rowan, you are a Marcionite, also surely going to be damned!