by botherer on Nov.10, 2004, under The Rest
In tribute to the resignation of Senator John Ashcroft, I think it only appropriate that I dig out an old cut-up of the God-fearing man.
He was a strange man to cut up – he already said the kinds of things you might want to edit someone to be saying for comedy effect. For instance, during the original speech (while Clinton was in power), he states an example of the government’s evil as, “taking money and spending it on drug clinics”.
He’s gone, he’s gone, let’s dance and dance and dance. May he be utterly miserable in all his remaining days.
Spectacularly, in his resignation letter he says,
“the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.”
Well, that must come as quite a relief to all Americans. Not only is The War Against Terrorism won, but also the lesser spoken of War Against Crime! It must be absolutely splendid in America now.
November 10th, 2004 on 10:06
To be more accurate: “the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved, because I’m leaving, and don’t need to make them fear the bogeyman any more.”
November 10th, 2004 on 11:50
I’ve never understood quite why a man made of bogey should infuse so much horror into people’s minds. Unpleasant, certainly, not someone you’d want to shake hands with and so on. But not exactly a reason to lie awake at night, trembling beneath the covers.
Now, the *Boogieman* – that I can see as scary. He comes into your room at night and makes you dance to crappy Bee Gees singles. Shudder.
November 10th, 2004 on 12:04
Or the Buggy Man, who starts scaring you and then just locks up.
In totally unrelated news, I just ordered a copy of the Strong Bad DVD.
November 10th, 2004 on 12:10
Could you order me one? I don’t have a credit card as I don’t trust me. I might even pay you back.
November 10th, 2004 on 12:23
Sure. E-mail me your address and I’ll ring up the info this evening. You still want to grab one of those Homsar T-Shirts while I’m at it?
November 10th, 2004 on 19:33
I’m most scared of the Baggy Man, who is of course Bez from out of the Happy Mondays.
November 10th, 2004 on 23:35
I’ve updated my blog. I’m very happy, as I haven’t done so for ages. No reason.
November 11th, 2004 on 00:29
America IS lovely now, thank you very much.
We’ll miss Asscroft’s voice http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2424640
his decency when statues pull a Janet Jackson
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm
but his trampling of our liberties will remain on forever
http://www.epic.org/privacy/terrorism/hr3162.html