John Walker's Electronic House

I’ve invented a new extreme sport: Extreme Washing Up.

I’ve never particularly objected to washing up – the radio on, hands warm, and taking part in a process with the inbuilt satisfaction of making dirty things clean. There seems little to make a fuss about. Of course, there is the difference between doing your own washing up in your own flat in your own time, and being ordered to do it by a parent right in the middle of your favourite TV programme. And this of course means that it does build up for a couple of days on occasions, what with there being no mums here to shout at us.

It must also be known that our washing machine is in the kitchen next to the sink. This of course means that the washing machine surface becomes the shelf upon which all dirty crockery is stored. (The pieces are starting to slot into place). Our washing machine is on the exciteable side. During its spin cycles it’s not unknown for things to tumble from the tops of cupboards, or the bin to fall over spilling its rotting bellies across the floor. So of course it would unfeasible to have the dirty dishes sat atop it while it was washing clothes.

And so this is how we get to Extreme Washing Up. The washing machine carries days of dirty dishes, and is full of dirty clothes. Powder is put in, and the wash is begun! There’s only so much time before it does its first crockery-cracking wobbles! THE WASHING UP MUST BE COMPLETED BEFORE THIS! GO! GO! GO!

It may be noted that John is putting off doing any of the huge amount of work he needs to do.