John Walker's Electronic House

Every now and then I remember to listen to this theme song, from the adventure game Legacy: Dark Shadows.

[audio: http://pool.cream.org/legacy/legacy.mp3]

And my day gets better.

This is the game that featured these two moments of dialogue, that I’ve written about so many times:

[audio: http://pool.cream.org/legacy/legacy1.mp3] [audio:http://pool.cream.org/legacy/legacy2.mp3]

Lots of things are annual. July, for instance. But July, Christmas and my birthday all have the good grace to wait an entire perceived year before they decide it’s time for another go. Here are five things that rudely push into my consciousness far more often than calendars would like to admit:

1) The London Marathon
The spectacle of the wobbly unfit attempting to run the extremely arbitrary distance of 26andabit miles in rented costumes certainly appears to appear more than once a year. I estimate there must be 1.5 London Marathons every year, one of them always on a hotter day than the other.

2) The Last Night Of The Proms
It seems we’re being told how very much we all want to wave cheap plastic flags and bob up and down at least two times a year. I recognise that the Proms lasts an entire season, but its denouement certainly doesn’t see fit to only appear once it’s over. Another one is sneaking in there somewhere.

3) The Turner Art Prize
Unquestionably, this prize comes up twice a year. The BBC News website starts snorting in horror at the obscure entries, while we’re all encouraged to alternately sneer and seethe that these people make money from that?! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned painting? You’ll note that on the other occasion it comes around again too quickly, there’s a winner who surprises everyone by doing some good old-fashioned painting.

4) Wimbledon
It’s almost time for the All England Tennis Club to host the Wimbledon Championship grandslam event. It’s in a month and ten days. Exactly. The last one only finished about four months ago. To further illustrate quite how much of a time-defying multi-dimensional state the tournament exists within, do you know how many years it’s been since Cliff Richard so famously “entertained” the crowds by singing when it rained? Five years? Eight years? No. It was fourteen years ago.

5) Earth Day
No one has any idea what Earth Day is. No one knows what it’s for, who organises it, and whether the Earth is helped by it in any way. The only reason any of us have ever heard of Earth Day is because about three or four times a year, Google annually changes its logo to celebrate the occasion.